The Adventures of a Junkie and her Angel
by crazy-dreams
Summary: Action, Romance, Drama, Comedy, Friendship, and the eternal search for a decent cup of coffee. Luke & Lorelai take off on a cross-country road trip leaving Jess & Rory to amuse themselves. The possibilities are endless...**COMPLETE**
1. Default Chapter

Skip straight to part 2 to avoid the world's longest disclaimer/author's note  
  
**Disclaimer**  
  
The concept of Gilmore Girls, Lorelai, Rory, Luke, Jess, Paris, Sookie, Lane, Dean, Emily, Taylor, Kirk, Mrs Kim, Miss Patty, etc and the improbably named town of Stars Hollow were all created by Amy-Sherman Palladino.  
  
The quotes used as chapter titles also belong to various other people (except the first one, that's mine).  
  
I don't even own the idea for this fic. I started writing it ages ago in response to a challenge on the Chilton Library site:  
  
***  
  
Write a story in which Lorelai drags Luke on a road trip, and they end up at the Pacific Ocean. The reason is up to you, but it has to be spur-of-the- moment. It has to take place sometime after The Bracebridge Dinner and include some scenes with Jess and Rory (not necessarily together) of what they do while Lorelai and Luke are gone. Also make it L/L, but don't have it be mushy, gushy, and corny.  
  
Include the following too.  
  
-Lorelai punching Luke  
  
-Rory and Lorelai on the phone with Lorelai complaining about how boring Kansas is(no offense to those who live there)  
  
-Luke cussing out the car when it breaks down in the middle of nowhere and ranting to Lorelai about coming on the trip  
  
-a sunset over the ocean  
  
Okay, to wrap it up. Make it about a PG-13 fic and I don't care who Rory is with. You don't even have to bring it up if you don't want to. Be creative and have fun!  
  
***  
  
**Apologies**  
  
I have never been to the US and have no idea how long it takes to drive from state to state, so please excuse any tragic geographical errors. Put it down to creative licence.  
  
Please also excuse the mixture of script format for phone calls and narrative for everything else and the kinda backwards way each chapter is written. Let me know if it's just too hard to deal with.  
  
And excuse any other errors, for example, Luke's middle name, cos I'm not exactly research girl. In fact, I'm more, 'I know everything there is to know about a particular topic, so I'll spend library research lessons sleeping or sneaking off to join another class girl.' Then 'what do you mean we need at least 10 sources for this assignment?' No problem, no one checks if you just make it up.  
  
**Setting**  
  
Season 3, only: The whole Lorelai/Chris thing didn't happen at Sookie's wedding, there is no Shane, Jess and Rory are friendly, avoiding the kiss issue.  
  
  
  
Now all that's out of the way.... 


	2. All good things begin with coffee

**Love is a journey, not a destination**  
  
  
  
*****  
  
CHAPTER 1 - ALL GOOD THINGS BEGIN WITH COFFEE  
  
*****  
  
Saturday night  
  
  
  
*ring ring*  
  
  
  
"Hello, this is Rory and Lorelai's answering machine. We can't come to the phone right now, but feel free to leave a message. Your chances of a return phone call are heightened greatly if you are (a) A best friend - Hi Sookie, Hi Lane (b) tall, dark and handsome - Dean, you're in luck, (c) offering food, coffee or some other useful service - Luke, this is you, or (d) Brad Pitt."  
  
  
  
"Hi Rory, where are you?? I really wanted to actually talk to you. I won't be home tonight. You know there are a hundred people you can call if you need anything. I'm on my cell phone and I'll call you again tomorrow. And by the way, we should really change the answering machine message, that 'other useful service part' sounds dirty. Bye Sweets!"  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Earlier that day...  
  
  
  
Lorelai burst into the diner, "pack your bags, Toto, we're going on a trip," she said to Luke.  
  
"Huh? Lorelai are you nuts?" he paused, "wait, don't worry I know the answer."  
  
"There's a coffee festival in Boston tomorrow. I HAVE to go," Lorelai declared.  
  
"So take Rory, she's almost as obsessed with the evil liquid as you, she'd love it," Luke said, wiping down a table.  
  
"I know, and she could see her dad. I wish I could take Rory, but she has a huge French exam on Monday. Please Luke, I need someone to go with. It'll be fun! And educational! Seeing as how you serve coffee, you could pick up some tips. I know you're going to say something about how you have to work and you can't just drop everything and coffee is bad for you and ra ra ra. Let's just cut to the part where you agree to go. Come on Luke, live a little."  
  
"I live plenty, thank you very much, I just do my living here," he couldn't make it too easy for her.  
  
"Boring!" Lorelai poked her tongue out at him.  
  
"Crazy!" Luke retorted.  
  
"Dull!"  
  
"Insane!"  
  
"Uninteresting!"  
  
"Unstable!"  
  
"Yawn-inducing!"  
  
"Fruit-loop!"  
  
"Drear!"  
  
"Deranged!"  
  
"Hey that was really nasty!" Lorelai stopped their volley of insults when she ran out of synonyms for 'boring' and made a mental note to take some vocabulary lessons from Rory before returning to bugging Luke.  
  
"Please Lukey?" she pouted.  
  
"I don't think so," he replied  
  
"I may resort to kidnapping you," Lorelai warned.  
  
"Yeah okay, sure. You try that," Luke crossed his arms over his chest.  
  
Lorelai looked at him, "do you have to be so big and strong? I think I could take Jess though. I'll hold him for ransom until you agree."  
  
"You can keep him," Luke told her.  
  
"Would it help if I begged?" Lorelai asked desperately.  
  
"I think you've already tried that."  
  
"How about if I started crying?"  
  
"Then I'd have to kick you out. Can't you ask someone else?"  
  
"Well obviously I don't have that many friends who are willing to just drop everything for me. Rub it in why don't you! Seriously, Luke, we just got our friendship back to the way it was, don't you think it would be good to spend a little time together. We'll only be gone a day or two. Pleeeeease?" Lorelai made puppy dog eyes at him.  
  
"Okay, okay," Luke gave in. He always did.  
  
"You'll come?" Lorelai's face lit up like a kid at Christmas time.  
  
"Your insanity must be catching. Yes, I'll come."  
  
"Great! Go get packed, I've just got to buy some stuff, I'll meet you outside the market!" Lorelai headed for the door before Luke could change his mind and crashed into Jess in the process.  
  
"Where's the fire?" Jess asked as Lorelai continued out the door.  
  
Luke handed Jess his apron.  
  
"You. Look after the place. Tell Caesar I'll be back in a couple of days."  
  
Jess just shrugged.  
  
Luke packed a bag and went to meet Lorelai, who was waiting with three grocery bags full of junk food, munching on some potato chips.  
  
"Bout time you showed up," she said, "I was beginning to think you chickened out on me."  
  
"What is all that crap?" Luke asked, eyeing the bags.  
  
"Provisions," Lorelai answered.  
  
"It's not that far to Boston you know. There are stores along the way."  
  
"Stop right there and I won't make any cracks about how long it took you to pack considering you wear the same thing everyday."  
  
Luke sighed, "let's just go."  
  
"We're taking my car," said Lorelai.  
  
"What's wrong with mine?" Luke wanted to know.  
  
"Nothing, just that a jeep is the perfect vehicle for a road trip."  
  
"Okay, fine," Luke said, twirling his keys in his fingers.  
  
"Then why do you need your keys?" asked Lorelai.  
  
"I don't want Jess driving my truck," he explained  
  
"What with his great track record?" she replied sarcastically, "really though, Luke, I don't think a lack of keys would stop Jess if he wanted your truck."  
  
Luke realised she was right, "do you think he'll be okay?"  
  
Lorelai rolled her eyes, "he's 17, not 4."  
  
"Maybe I shouldn't leave him. He could get into trouble."  
  
"In Stars Hollow? Okay, I agree, he could. But Jess would get into trouble whether you were there or not. Now let's go already!"  
  
Lorelai jumped into the car and started the engine.  
  
'Highway to Hell' by AC/DC blasted from the speakers.  
  
Luke hoped it wasn't a sign.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
That evening, after they found a motel in Boston, Lorelai left Rory a message on their answering machine before wandering next door to Luke's room.  
  
"Rory's not home," she announced.  
  
"She's probably at Lane's or out with Dean."  
  
"Right. Have you called Jess yet?"  
  
"Why would I need to call Jess? He was there when I left this afternoon."  
  
"Did you even say where we were going?"  
  
"I don't think he cared."  
  
There was a knock on the door, "room service."  
  
Luke shot Lorelai a look, "you ordered room service?"  
  
"Don't worry, I ordered some vegetable thing for you," she replied.  
  
Lorelai sat cross-legged on Luke's bed with the food spread around her and switched on the TV.  
  
"Great, get crumbs all over my bed," Luke complained.  
  
But as the room didn't contain a table, he ended up sitting beside her.  
  
Lorelai was playing with the remote control, "why do they make these things so complicated?"  
  
"What are you trying to do?" Luke asked.  
  
"Find a movie," she said, "ah, got it."  
  
"What's on?"  
  
"'Vanilla Sky.' Have you ever seen it?"  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Me neither."  
  
An hour and a half later Lorelai was slumped on the bed, "ugh this is a bad movie," she said "I'm waiting for it to get better, but it's only getting worse."  
  
Luke agreed, "a bad, bad movie."  
  
Lorelai gave up and closed her eyes. She was sound asleep by the time the credits rolled.  
  
Luke tried to wake her up, but she refused to move, clinging tightly to the pillow.  
  
Fine, Luke thought, they'd switch rooms. She could sleep on the dinner table. He gently tucked Lorelai in before taking her room key and going to sleep in her bed.  
  
  
  
***  
  
  
  
TBC  
  
  
  
Remember that reviews are lovely things! 


	3. Good girls go to heavan, bad girls go ev...

*****  
  
GOOD GIRLS GO TO HEAVAN. . . . . BAD GIRLS GO EVERYWHERE  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Boston  
  
Sunday  
  
  
  
*ring ring*  
  
  
  
LORELAI: "Hello?"  
  
RORY: "Hi Mom, where are you?"  
  
LORELAI: "Heaven!"  
  
RORY: "Otherwise known as?"  
  
LORELAI: "A coffee festival."  
  
RORY: "And you didn't invite me!"  
  
LORELAI: "In Boston."  
  
RORY: "Oh. Wait, a coffee festival in Boston?"  
  
LORELAI: "Yeah, I think someone got it confused with tea. Or maybe it's dump the tea, celebrate the coffee. Either way, I'm not complaining. This is great!"  
  
RORY: "Hey who are you with? Is that dad I can hear in the background?"  
  
LORELAI: "No, actually it's Luke."  
  
RORY: "You're in Boston with Luke?"  
  
LORELAI: "I needed someone to come with me, you know I can't travel by myself."  
  
RORY: "And out of everyone you ended up with Luke?"  
  
LORELAI: "So?"  
  
RORY: "Sometimes you're so oblivious it scares me."  
  
LORELAI: "Get back to studying, Little Missy!"  
  
RORY: "Yes Mommy! So when will you be back?"  
  
LORELAI: "Tonight or Monday morning I guess, but then again, you never know what will happen....."  
  
RORY: "Okay, well, have fun and bring me some coffee."  
  
LORELAI: "I will."  
  
RORY: "Au Revoir!"  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Luke and a blissful Lorelai spent the rest of the morning wandering around the coffee stalls before buying some lunch and taking it back to the car.  
  
Lorelai was eating the biggest, greasiest burger either of them had ever seen.  
  
"Do you know how much cholesterol is in that thing?" Luke asked disapprovingly, "you're heading for a triple bypass before you're fifty."  
  
"I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol, baby."  
  
"That's it, I'm driving all the way home."  
  
"But we want to get there before Christmas," Lorelai teased, "So that's where you want to go now? Home?"  
  
"Where else?" Luke asked.  
  
Lorelai put down her burger and turned her face towards his, "wild and crazy idea," she said.  
  
"I would expect nothing less from you."  
  
"We're having fun, right?" she asked.  
  
"Right," Luke answered cautiously.  
  
"So why does it have to end? Let's expand the road trip. You pick somewhere you've always wanted to go."  
  
"Australia."  
  
"Sure, so long as we can drive there. Be serious Luke."  
  
"You know what would be serious? Us going back to work."  
  
"When was the last time you took a vacation? Aside from that fishing trip. Never? You work so hard Luke, you need a little time off."  
  
Lorelai had a point, Luke realised. Plus there was the fact that he would walk barefoot over burning coals to spend time alone with her.  
  
"Okay, we'll go somewhere," he agreed.  
  
"Great!" Lorelai pulled out a map of the entire United States, "so where do you want to go? Miami? New Orleans? Nah, not very Luke-like. How about somewhere in the middle? Nebraska? Kansas? Texas?"  
  
Luke gave Lorelai one of his looks reserved especially for her.  
  
"Okay, Salt Lake City? The Rocky Mountains? I'm getting closer aren't I?" she asked with a smile.  
  
"I wouldn't mind seeing the Grand Canyon," Luke admitted.  
  
"Ooh, 'Thelma and Louise' re-enactment. Great choice! So long as I get to be the one who sleeps with Brad Pitt!"  
  
"I wouldn't fight you for it. Can we stop short of actually driving off the cliff though?"  
  
"I knew you'd want to spoil the fun! Ooh, I gotta call Rory and let her know."  
  
"Hey wouldn't you rather be doing this trip with her?" Luke asked.  
  
Lorelai gave a semi-sad smile, "I'm sort of trying to wean myself off Rory."  
  
"Why? You're lucky. It's really nice that the two of you have such a close relationship," Luke told her.  
  
"Yeah, I know. I love Rory more than anything in the world. Only I feel like I'm the one dependent on her now. When Rory was born, I prided myself in not needing anybody, but I need her. She's been there my entire adult life, and I wouldn't have had it any other way. But now she's going to go off to college and she'll have this amazing life. And I want to have my own life too. This is about me being independent."  
  
"So where do I fit in?" asked Luke.  
  
"You're just coming along for the ride!" Lorelai grinned at him, switching out of serious mode, "and to make sure I don't do anything really stupid, like get hopelessly lost or pick up hitchhikers."  
  
"Glad you're taking this whole independence thing so seriously," Luke muttered.  
  
Lorelai shushed him and picked up her cell phone to call Rory.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
*ring ring*  
  
  
  
RORY: "Hello?"  
  
LORELAI: "Hi Honey. Guess what? We're going on a road trip! Grand Canyon here we come."  
  
RORY: "Ooh, 'Thelma and Louise'!"  
  
LORELAI: "That's just what I said!"  
  
RORY: "But I'd make a better Thelma than Luke."  
  
LORELAI: "I'm Thelma!"  
  
RORY: "Okay, Louise is the brains of the operation anyway."  
  
LORELAI: "Hey!"  
  
RORY: "Sorry. Seriously, you and Luke have a good time. I'll be thinking about you while I sit home and watch the movie alone."  
  
LORELAI: "Hey don't sound sad. I still love you more."  
  
RORY: "Has something happened between you and Luke that I should know about?"  
  
LORELAI: "No."  
  
RORY: "Then why the road trip?"  
  
LORELAI: "I think I'm having a mid-life crisis."  
  
RORY: "You are not."  
  
LORELAI: "I could be! I mean, why wait until you're 50? That's only mid- life in the technical sense if you live to be 100, which not that many people do. And according to Luke I'm going to die young of excess coffee consumption, so this could be midlife for me!"  
  
RORY: "I can see there's no talking you out of this one."  
  
LORELAI: "Nope! So are you going to be okay on your own for a while? Want me to call Sookie and ask if you can stay with her and Jackson?"  
  
RORY: "Don't worry, I'll be fine."  
  
LORELAI: "Okay, I'm gonna miss you babe! I'll call all the time."  
  
RORY: "Have fun. Don't torture Luke too much."  
  
LORELAI: "Would I do that?"  
  
RORY: "Yes!"  
  
LORELAI: "Bye Sweets!"  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, they will end up at the Pacific Ocean eventually, just go with it.  
  
Next chapter shows what Rory and Jess are up to. 


	4. The way to a Gilmore's heart is through ...

*****  
  
THE WAY TO A GIRL'S HEART IS THROUGH HER STOMACH  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Pennyslvania  
  
Monday night  
  
*ring ring*  
  
  
  
LORELAI: "Mmm, hello?"  
  
RORY: "Hello Mom?"  
  
LORELAI: "waa? Rory? It's past midnight! Are you okay? Please tell me Jess didn't put you in the hospital again!"  
  
RORY: "I'm fine."  
  
LORELAI: "Phew. Then what's going on? Is that a siren I hear in the background? Did Paris murder your French teacher cos the exam was too hard?"  
  
RORY: "No, the exam was fine. Actually, I need to talk to Luke......Jess, shut up!"  
  
LORELAI: "Oh, okay, he's just here.....Luke, wake up!"  
  
RORY: "Why are you and Luke in the same room?"  
  
LORELAI: "Because it's cheaper this way, we have two beds, and.. That's not the point! Why are you with Jess in the middle of the night?"  
  
RORY: "I was hungry."  
  
LORELAI: "You were hungry? Hang on, here's Luke."  
  
LUKE: "Hello, Rory? What's wrong?"  
  
RORY: "Uh, hi Luke. We just need to know how to turn the smoke detector alarm off at the diner."  
  
LUKE: "Why is the smoke detector alarm on?"  
  
RORY: "Uh, I was hungry?"  
  
LUKE: "Let me talk to Jess!"  
  
RORY: "Okay, just a sec."  
  
JESS: "Hi Uncle Luke, how's it going?"  
  
LUKE: "Jess what the hell is going on there!?!?"  
  
JESS: "It's nothing to worry about, I haven't burnt the diner down. Rory was just hungry."  
  
LUKE: "Why does everyone keep saying that?"  
  
JESS: "Rory hungry. We cook food. Food burn. Make smoke. Alarm go off. We call you. You help."  
  
LUKE: "Hit alarm button. Twice. Alarm shut up. You shut up. I go sleep."  
  
JESS: "Yeah alright. Rory wants to talk to you again."  
  
RORY: "Thanks for that, Luke. Sorry to disturb you. Say good night to my mom for me?"  
  
LUKE: "Sure. Good night Rory."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"Rory says goodnight," Luke said, sitting Lorelai's cell phone on the stand between their beds.  
  
"Do you think those two will be alright?" Lorelai asked him.  
  
"They'll be fine. Anyway, it wasn't your place they were burning down."  
  
"But what was Rory doing with Jess at this time of night anyway?" Lorelai rolled onto her side, propped her head up with her hand and rested on her elbow, facing Luke.  
  
"She was hungry."  
  
"I do appreciate the hunger at odd hours but why was she with Jess?"  
  
"Jess was at the diner, which is where Rory eats the majority of her meals."  
  
"Right! Basic instinct. Of course."  
  
"Now that's sorted out, go back to sleep," Luke switched off the light.  
  
"But-"  
  
"Go to sleep Lorelai!"  
  
She was silent for a minute before calling out to him again, "Luke?"  
  
He buried his head under a pillow. "I knew I should have gotten my own room," he muttered, "What!?"  
  
"Nite!"  
  
"Goodnight Lorelai."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Earlier that day....  
  
  
  
"Hey," Jess greeted Rory when she entered the diner after school.  
  
"Hi," Rory took a seat at the counter, "This place seems kinda weird without Luke. He's like a permanent fixture here," she commented, "and you, being all responsible like."  
  
"Yeah, well it's pretty quiet, without your mom and all. Kinda reminds me of when she and Luke were fighting, only without Luke moping around all pissed off, and when you were avoiding me."  
  
"When was I avoiding you?"  
  
"After, you know," Jess replied, referring to their kiss at Sookie's wedding.  
  
"Oh, right. That which we agreed never to speak of."  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Thanks for being cool with that Jess."  
  
"REALLY don't mention it."  
  
"Sorry."  
  
They sat in silence for a while.  
  
"So how'd your exam go today? Any more coming up?" Jess said finally.  
  
"It was fine thanks, and no, I'm pretty free for the next couple of weeks."  
  
"Well, that's good."  
  
"Okay," Rory finished her coffee and got up to leave.  
  
"Wait, you're going already?"  
  
"When we resort to making small talk about school I think it's a case of quitting the conversation while we're behind."  
  
"Right. Well maybe I'll see you for dinner."  
  
"I'm having dinner with Dean."  
  
"Oh. Of course. See ya,"  
  
"Bye Jess."  
  
Rory let out a small sigh as she turned and left the diner.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
That night, Jess had just finished cleaning up when Rory tapped on the door.  
  
"What's a nice girl like you doing roaming the dangerous streets of Stars Hollow so late a night?" he quipped.  
  
"Hi. Any chance of a late meal?" Rory asked hopefully.  
  
"I thought you were having dinner with Dean."  
  
"We didn't get much eating done," Rory looked as though she'd been crying.  
  
"Come in."  
  
Rory followed Jess to the kitchen.  
  
"What happened?" Jess asked, "I'll take the cliffs notes."  
  
Rory sighed, "Dean's going out of town on some school baseball tour for a whole month. He got all over-protective about leaving me here, especially when things hadn't been going that well with us. We had a fight and, long story short, we decided to take a break while he's away."  
  
"But you wouldn't have seen him anyway. What's that, a break from nothing?"  
  
"It means no mushy love letters, no long phone calls, no messages checking up on me."  
  
"Well, I'm sorry," Jess offered.  
  
"Yeah, right," Rory stared at her shoes and prayed he wouldn't gloat too much.  
  
"I am," Jess insisted, "I may not care about Bag Boy, but I'm sorry that you're upset. And I'm sorry you didn't end up getting dinner."  
  
Rory cracked a smile, "I've been walking around town for two hours, I'm absolutely starving!"  
  
"What do you feel like then?" Jess asked, "I'll make you anything you want."  
  
"That's a very generous offer," Rory raised her eyebrows, "sure you don't want to qualify it a bit?"  
  
"Anything within my limited repertoire of burgers, fries, french toast and grilled sandwiches. Oh wait, cancel the fries I'm not cleaning up the oil again tonight."  
  
"I'll take the french toast."  
  
Jess gave her a strange look, "hell, why not. It's almost as close to breakfast time as dinner anyway." He began collating the ingredients for french toast, "So how many times do you make it around this town in two hours?" he asked.  
  
"Twenty-eight," Rory told him.  
  
"That's all? I'm disappointed."  
  
"It was a moping walk."  
  
"I see." Jess was now busy fighting with the beater in an attempt to get it to work. "Stupid thing," he muttered.  
  
Rory followed the cord to the wall and flipped the power switch. The beater sprung to life, spraying milk and eggs all over Jess.  
  
He glared at Rory, who merely laughed and threw him a towel.  
  
"Thank you, you just made my night," Rory told Jess between giggles.  
  
"Do you want to eat or not?" he threatened.  
  
Rory immediately suppressed her grin, but her lips kept twitching as she struggled to maintain a straight face.  
  
Jess started her french toast cooking before heading upstairs to the apartment for a clean shirt.  
  
"Coming?" he asked Rory.  
  
"What, to watch you change?"  
  
"In your dreams, Gilmore! Nah, I've got a book for you. Come get it."  
  
"'Kay." Rory followed him upstairs.  
  
She was sitting on the corner of the bed in the apartment, reading the blurb of the book when the when the fire alarm went off.  
  
Rory yelped with surprise and ran for the door, slamming straight into Jess who burst out of the bathroom with a shirt half over his head. They both toppled to the floor.  
  
"Jess!" Rory yelled at him as they disentangled themselves.  
  
"What!" he shouted back and quickly finished dressing himself.  
  
They both raced downstairs with hands clamped over ears.  
  
Rory pulled the burning bread off the stove and tried to blow away the smoke while Jess grabbed the alarm off the wall.  
  
"How do you turn this thing off?" he cried.  
  
"Just take the batteries out!" Rory advised.  
  
"They're screwed in!" Jess banged the alarm on the floor, but it wouldn't stop. Finally he thew it out an open window.  
  
"Great now you're gonna wake the whole town!" Rory complained.  
  
"Any better suggestions?" Jess asked.  
  
"I'll call Luke, he'll know what to do."  
  
Jess went outside to retrieve the alarm and when they'd managed to switch if off, thanks to Luke's instructions. Jess then turned to Rory who was sitting slumped on the kitchen bench.  
  
"What's wrong now?" he asked her.  
  
"I still haven't had dinner!"  
  
Jess pulled a tub of icecream out of the freezer and grabbed two spoons. He handed one to Rory and they sat side by side on the bench, talking and sharing the icecream.  
  
  
  
***** 


	5. Families are like fudge mostly sweet wit...

*****  
  
FAMILIES ARE LIKE FUDGE.. MOSTLY SWEET WITH A FEW NUTS  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Ohio  
  
  
  
*ring ring*  
  
  
  
RORY: "Hello?"  
  
LORELAI: "Rory, my Fashion Guru!"  
  
RORY: "Mom?"  
  
LORELAI: "I'm holed up in a change room, quick help me choose, bikini - black, blue or hot pink?"  
  
RORY: "Hot pink? Are you having an identity crisis? Have you dyed your hair blonde, acquired a well-waxed boyfriend and changed your name to something you cook meat on?"  
  
LORELAI: "You're absolutely right. Hot pink comes with way too much Barbie doll baggage! Thank you, honey, I knew there was a reason I kept feeding you for all those years. Okay, so we're down to blue or black."  
  
RORY: "What style?"  
  
LORELAI: "String. I feel very underdressed."  
  
RORY: "What colour are you trying at the moment?"  
  
LORELAI: "Black."  
  
RORY: "Slutty."  
  
LORELAI: "Am not!"  
  
RORY: "Black string bikini? If it's not slutty it's at least sexy."  
  
LORELAI: "I can live with sexy."  
  
RORY: "It's the kind of bikini you wear for a moonlight swim when you don't expect to have it on for very long...."  
  
LORELAI: "Stop it child, you're scaring me!"  
  
RORY: "What about the other one?"  
  
LORELAI: "It's string as well."  
  
RORY: "What colour blue?"  
  
LORELAI: "Light, but not baby or sky blue, more teal-ish."  
  
RORY: "Does it match your eyes?"  
  
LORELAI: "Yeah kinda."  
  
RORY: "Get it."  
  
LORELAI: "I'll thank you when you take back the slutty comment."  
  
RORY: "Done."  
  
LORELAI: "And will you tell Luke I'm not slutty?"  
  
RORY: "What did you do?"  
  
LORELAI: "Nothing!"  
  
RORY: "And after that?"  
  
LORELAI: "Tried to pick up teenage boys."  
  
RORY: "Shame! One of these days I will officially disown you."  
  
LORELAI: "You lie."  
  
RORY: "Yes, I do, and not even very well."  
  
LORELAI: "You know you can't live without me.... Oops, gotta go, Sweets, I think Luke is about to bash down the door to get me out of here."  
  
RORY: "Right, I'll talk to you later then."  
  
LORELAI: "Yep. Thanks. Bye Rory."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Rory placed the phone on the kitchen table in front of Jess who was seated at it eating grapes.  
  
"So how they doing?" he asked.  
  
"I guess they're doing fine," she replied.  
  
"You guess?" Jess popped a grape in his mouth, "Lorelai not big on the provision of info that actually makes any sense?"  
  
Rory frowned slightly, "not exactly, no. But you don't have to be like that about it."  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Like THAT. My Mom's a great person. And we're a lot alike, so my insulting her you insult me by association."  
  
"Something I would never dream of doing, so in that case, I profusely apologise Miss Rory."  
  
Rory threw a grape at him, "I don't know why I'm spending so much time with you."  
  
"Because I'm irresistible," Jess suggested.  
  
"Because you're my last option," Rory said jokingly.  
  
"I'm injured," Jess claimed.  
  
"You'll live. Come on, let's go before I revoke my offer to help you out at the diner tonight," Rory stood up and put the grapes back in the fridge, "And if I do that you might show up on my front door begging again."  
  
"I did not beg!" Jess protested, rising from his chair.  
  
"Did too!"  
  
"Did not!"  
  
"You know what?" Rory asked, "we sound like mom and Luke arguing."  
  
"And by arguing you mean ill-disguised flirting?"  
  
Rory walked out the back door without responding so Jess wouldn't see her blush.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Earlier that day....  
  
  
  
"Jeez, go a little slower would you?" Lorelai called to the car in front of them, "Volvo drivers," she rolled her eyes at Luke.  
  
Luke was still getting used to driving with Lorelai. Particularly her occasional insistence on talking to people who weren't even in the car.  
  
"Doesn't Rory's dad drive a Volvo?" he asked her.  
  
"And people wonder why we're not together- go around that guy Luke," Lorelai directed.  
  
"Hey who's driving here?" Luke asked, "and we're not on the highway any more, you know."  
  
"But he's so slow!!!!!" Lorelai complained, "I NEED to find somewhere to get a cup of coffee."  
  
"I offered to stop at any one of those road houses we've passed in the last two and a half hours," Luke reminded her.  
  
"No, no, no. You never, ever, EVER drink roadhouse coffee. It's about on par with eating an icecream cone that fell in the dirt, or pancakes that Jess cooked."  
  
Luke indicated to pass the Volvo when another car swooped past dangerously close to the jeep.  
  
"Hey watch it!" Lorelai yelled at the long-gone driver, "You know what I want?" she told Luke, "One of those bumper stickers that says 'Insured by the Mafia. You hit me, we hit you.'"  
  
"Charming. Now I've got your birthday present all sorted out," Luke said as he pulled the car to a stop at a red light, next to a hotted up car full of young guys with subs thumping.  
  
Lorelai quickly forgot about bad drivers and began dancing around in her seat to their music, "it's getting hot in here, so take off all your clothes," she sang as she removed the white cotton shirt she was wearing over a stripy strapless blue top.  
  
"Well maybe if the airconditioning worked in this thing," Luke said, "I can't believe you suggested we take a car with broken aircon on a cross country road trip during what has to be the hottest fall on record," he looked over at Lorelai who was busy flirting with the young guys in the neighbouring car who had observed her little strip and whistled in appreciation.  
  
"Lorelai!" Luke yelled.  
  
"What?" she asked innocently.  
  
"Will you stop that? Those guys are Jess' age. You're disturbing me."  
  
"Please, they're at least 19."  
  
"Well you're going to cause a car accident," Luke told her, accelerating as the light turned green.  
  
"Aw, I bet you love it when teenage girls swoon and giggle over you," Lorelai teased.  
  
"That has never happened," Luke replied dryly.  
  
"I'll bet it has," Lorelai prodded.  
  
"It has not," insisted Luke.  
  
"Well if that's true it's only because you don't get out of the diner often enough."  
  
Luke just rolled his eyes.  
  
"Ooh! Make a right into that carpark!" Lorelai instructed.  
  
"We are not following those guys," Luke warned.  
  
"No, it's a mall. I can get coffee. Plus I just realised we need to shop. I only packed for a weekend."  
  
Luke turned into the carpark. "You have enough junk in those two suitcases for a least three weeks without washing."  
  
"True, but I did forget my bathing suit, and seeing how this is, to quote you directly, 'the hottest fall on record,' it might come in handy. Look at that sign, they're having a sale. You should get one too."  
  
"You keep track of everything I say?" Luke asked as he pulled into a parking space.  
  
"Only the stuff that can be used against you at a later date," Lorelai said cheerfully as she pulled him towards the store.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"Lorelai, hurry up, you've been in there for ages." Luke had chosen his suit in three minutes and was now banging on the door to Lorelai's change room.  
  
"Patience, Mr Potato Head," said Lorelai, ".... yep, thanks Rory, bye."  
  
"Have you been on the phone this entire time?" Luke demanded.  
  
"I can't decide." In the change room, Lorelai turned to look at herself in the mirror from different angles, "I needed Rory to provide a second opinion."  
  
"How could she possibly do that over the phone?" asked Luke.  
  
"She told me which one was too slutty. But I think maybe we were too quick to dismiss the hot pink. What do you think?" Lorelai stood on tip toes and hung her head over the change room door to talk to Luke.  
  
"Sure, hot pink. When you get sunburned it'll blend right in."  
  
"The blue it is," Lorelai turned around again to get changed.  
  
Luke just sighed. This was going to be a long trip.  
  
  
  
TBC 


	6. The nice part about living in a small to...

*****  
  
THE NICE PART ABOUT LIVING IN A SMALL TOWN IS THAT WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING, SOMEONE ELSE DOES  
  
*****  
  
  
  
RORY: "Hello, Luke's Diner."  
  
LORELAI: "Why are you living with Jess?"  
  
RORY: "Oh, hi mom."  
  
LORELAI: "I'm out of town a couple of days and you shack up with the town's resident James Dean!"  
  
RORY: "I-"  
  
LORELAI: "Rory, I have a VERY bad feeling about this, Honey."  
  
RORY: "You don't trust me?"  
  
LORELAI: "Of course I trust you, it's Jess I don't trust."  
  
RORY: "So you don't trust my judgement?"  
  
LORELAI: "No, of course I do."  
  
RORY: "You know, you're the one who took off and left me all alone!"  
  
LORELAI: "Okay, anti-parental attitude detected."  
  
RORY: "How about anti-responsible?"  
  
LORELAI: "I'm sorry, Rory, if that's the way you really feel you should have said something earlier. We can come back straight away."  
  
RORY: "No. I'm sorry, Mom, I didn't meant that, I want you to enjoy your trip. I just get a little lonely."  
  
LORELAI: "Which is where Jess comes in?"  
  
RORY: "Yes. And, for the record, I haven't 'shacked up' with him. I just want a friend to hang around with. Mrs Kim's being pretty strict about Lane's visiting hours."  
  
LORELAI: "I'm sure Sookie would love to cook dinner for you some nights."  
  
RORY: "I know, but I don't want to impose on her and Jackson. And I've been helping Jess out at the diner."  
  
LORELAI: "Well you better watch yourself, Miss Patty sounded mighty jealous that you and Jess are so cosy. And what about Dean? How does he feel about this arrangement?"  
  
RORY: "He doesn't exactly know. He's out of town."  
  
LORELAI: "The plot thickens!"  
  
RORY: "There is no plot."  
  
LORELAI: "Oooh, my battery's dying. Sweetie are you sure you don't want me to come home?"  
  
RORY: "Absolutely."  
  
LORELAI: "Okay, well, I miss you."  
  
RORY: "Me too."  
  
LORELAI: "Be good, but not too good. And keep me posted!"  
  
RORY: "Bye mom."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Rory hung up the phone and turned to the customers in the diner, "Okay," she asked, "who called my mom?"  
  
About five people raised their hands.  
  
Rory sighed.  
  
"We're just concerned, Sugar," Babette told Rory.  
  
"Well, as you can see, I'm perfectly fine," Rory grumbled.  
  
She set up a fresh pot of coffee and called out to Jess, "I'll be back in a little while to help you close up, okay?"  
  
"Sure," he replied easily.  
  
Rory left the diner and crossed the street.  
  
"You have ten minutes only," Mrs Kim told Rory when she asked to see Lane.  
  
"Okay, Mrs Kim," Rory responded dutifully before running upstairs to Lane's room.  
  
"I don't know what I'm doing." Rory slumped onto her friend's bedroom floor.  
  
"About what?" Lane asked.  
  
"Jess!"  
  
"What about Jess?"  
  
"We're friends. But I'm spending all this time with him. And it's not just because my mom and Dean are out of town, I really, really like spending time with him," Rory admitted.  
  
"In other words, you really, really like Jess," her best friend interpreted.  
  
"NO!" Rory moaned. She pulled her legs to her chest and rested her forehead on her knees.  
  
"YES!" Lane insisted, "as much as I hate to admit it, the two of your have taken Lorelai and Luke's place as the most oblivious couple in town."  
  
Rory lifted her head, "so what am I supposed to do now?"  
  
"Either go with it or resist the evil lure of the dark side."  
  
"Okay, I can do that."  
  
"Do which?"  
  
"Be friends with Jess without anything else happening. No problem," Rory said, sounding more confident than she really felt.  
  
"Time's up!" Mrs Kim called through the door.  
  
Rory gave Lane a sympathetic smile, "I better get back to the diner."  
  
"Keep me up to date."  
  
"There will nothing to tell," Rory promised firmly.  
  
"Mmm-hmm," Lane nodded knowingly.  
  
"Bye." Rory said pointedly.  
  
"Bye." Lane echoed.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Meanwhile, Luke and Lorelai were spending the night at another nondescript motor inn.  
  
Lorelai put her cell phone down after talking to Rory and sighed.  
  
"Everything okay?" Luke asked.  
  
"I feel so guilty about leaving Rory all alone!" Lorelai blurted out.  
  
"Did something happen?" Luke asked anxiously.  
  
"No, not really. She says she's doing fine."  
  
"Then you have nothing to feel guilty about."  
  
"It's just that this trip was such a spur of the moment thing, I would never have planned to do something like this without her! Am I a terrible mother? Tell me that truth!" Lorelai demanded.  
  
"You're a fantastic mother." Luke assured her, "You know that."  
  
Lorelai's lips curved up into a smile. "Yeah, I'm pretty special, hey?"  
  
Luke narrowed his eyes. "But you're not as cute as you think you are."  
  
"Please, you totally dig me!"  
  
"You just keep telling yourself that."  
  
"Seriously though, thank you for saying that, Luke," Lorelai gave him a warm smile.  
  
"Any time," he smiled back.  
  
"So, you want to use the bathroom to get changed?" Lorelai asked, breaking eye contact as she pulled her PJ's out of her bag.  
  
"Yeah sure."  
  
Luke disappeared into the bathroom leaving Lorelai to change in the main room.  
  
"Can I come out now?" Luke called out to her several minutes later.  
  
"Yep." Lorelai was sitting on one of the beds brushing her hair.  
  
She looked up when Luke walked out of the bathroom wearing track pants and flannel shirt and grinned, "I always knew you wore the flannel to bed as well."  
  
"You imagined what I wore to bed?" Luke asked.  
  
Lorelai averted the question and continued to tease. "It's very sexy you know. I don't know how I control myself being in the same room as you every night when you dress like that."  
  
"Yeah, right back at you."  
  
Lorelai looked down at her track pants and ratty grey T shirt. "Sorry, I left the lingerie at home."  
  
"Damn. You disappoint me," Luke played along.  
  
"Please, no one outside soap operas actually wears that stuff to sleep in. It's incredibly uncomfortable."  
  
"Spoken from personal experience."  
  
"You freeze in winter, satin sticks to your skin in summer.." Lorelai complained.  
  
"You're ruining my fantasies here."  
  
"Your lingerie fantasies?" Lorelai arched her eyebrows at him.  
  
"I didn't say who was wearing the lingerie," he added quickly.  
  
"Come on Luke, who's your dream pin up girl?"  
  
"I'm not telling you."  
  
"Tell me, tell me!"  
  
"No way."  
  
"You do realise I'm going to tease you mercilessly until you do.. And probably even more so after."  
  
Lorelai was standing on the bed, bouncing around excitedly.  
  
"Stop it." Luke told her. He swooped down and pulled her legs out from under her, causing Lorelai to fall onto her back on the mattress.  
  
She was breathing heavily from jumping around and laughing. He was leaning over her, one arm still wrapped around her legs, the other under her back to cushion the fall.  
  
"Hi," Lorelai smiled up at him. But Luke quickly rolled off her and climbed onto his own bed.  
  
"'Night Lorelai," he said quietly.  
  
"Yeah," Lorelai muttered back. She rolled over facing away from Luke and closed her eyes.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
Please send some feedback and tell me what you think.. 


	7. It is not in the stars to hold our desti...

AN: Thanks everyone for making me happy with lots of reviews. See? It made me update faster!  
  
  
  
*****  
  
IT IS NOT IN THE STARS TO HOLD OUR DESTINY, BUT IN OURSELVES  
  
*****  
  
  
  
*ring ring*  
  
  
  
RORY: "Hello?"  
  
LORELAI: "Hi Rory, how are you?"  
  
RORY: "I'm fine, mom."  
  
LORELAI: "Why did I get a strange message from Sookie about you falling off the gazebo roof?"  
  
RORY: "Jess and I were star gazing."  
  
LORELAI: "Thousands of light years away and you feel the need to get 10 feet closer to them?"  
  
RORY: "But I'm not hurt, Kirk broke my fall."  
  
LORELAI: "How's Kirk?"  
  
RORY: "He'll live."  
  
LORELAI: "Sweetie are you sure you're okay?"  
  
RORY: "I'm 100% fine, I promise. Do not worry!"  
  
LORELAI: "If you say so. Hey, who's that?"  
  
RORY: "Gotta go, Mom. Bye!"  
  
LORELAI: "Rory? ROREEEE?"  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Earlier....  
  
  
  
"Where are we going?" Rory asked curiously as Jess led her out of the diner after they had closed up.  
  
"You'll see," Jess replied mysteriously. He led her to the gazebo and pulled a ladder out from behind a bush.  
  
"Up."  
  
"What? I don't think this is allowed, Jess," Rory said uncertainly.  
  
"There is no official sign saying 'do not climb the gazebo,'" he pointed out.  
  
"It must be one of those unwritten rules."  
  
"Go on."  
  
"Fine."  
  
Jess held the ladder steady while Rory climbed up.  
  
He joined her sitting on the sloping roof.  
  
"Wow, you can see the whole town from here," Rory commented.  
  
"Hey is that Lane?" Jess asked, pointing to a figure climbing out Lane's bedroom window.  
  
"She must be sneaking out to meet Dave," said Rory.  
  
"Way to go Lane." Jess cheered.  
  
"Ever encouraging of teenage rebellion. This is great, I wonder who else we can spy on?" Rory was enjoying herself.  
  
"The real reason we're here is to see the stars," said Jess.  
  
"Don't tell me you're secretly an astronomy geek?" Rory grinned at him.  
  
"No. I just like the stars here," Jess replied defensively, "you could never see this many in New York."  
  
Rory shook her head and continued to smile. "You are such a softy! Do you have one of those telescopes too?"  
  
"Stop it!"  
  
"Okay, okay," Rory turned her attention to the stars, "Hey that looks like a turtle." She pointed out.  
  
"The constellations have names you know."  
  
"Ooh you ARE an astronomy geek. Are you going to teach me?"  
  
"Do you really want to know?" Jess asked.  
  
"I like making up my own, actually," Rory said, "See that's The Monkey in a Fez playing the drums."  
  
"That's the official scientific name?"  
  
"Yes." Rory stated.  
  
"You are such a weirdo." Jess shook his head and looked to where Rory was pointing.  
  
"Do you see it?" she persisted.  
  
"Yeah, the scary thing is, I do," he replied fondly.  
  
Jess looked at Rory and she thought for a moment that he might kiss her.  
  
But Jess looked back at the stars.  
  
What a relief, right? Rory thought, recalling her conversation with Lane the day before.  
  
Rory looked like she wanted him to kiss her, Jess thought. But that was silly. She didn't want him to kiss her. That had been made pretty clear. But just in case....  
  
"The kiss is still a no-go zone right?" he asked.  
  
"Uh, right," Rory confirmed.  
  
"Just checking," Jess backed off.  
  
"Why, do you want to talk about it?" Rory asked, biting on her lower lip.  
  
"No. I mean, not unless you do," Jess added quickly.  
  
"No. We're good friends now. Maybe it wasn't mean to be anything more than that between us."  
  
"Not meant to be? Have you been reading the horoscopes again?" Jess asked teasingly, moving to a lighter topic.  
  
"Hey you're the astronomy geek around here." Rory smirked, "It's written in the stars."  
  
"We better go, hey," Jess stood up, "you never know when Taylor will miss that ladder."  
  
"You stole the ladder off Taylor?"  
  
"Borrowed," Jess corrected.  
  
"After you." Rory stood up as well. She gestured grandly towards the ladder.  
  
And felt herself slipping.  
  
"Jess!" she called, eyes widening in panic.  
  
He reached out to grab her, but it was too late. With a small scream, Rory toppled off the gazebo roof.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"You're going to be fine," the Doctor assured Rory, "just a few minor scratches. You're very luck your friend was there."  
  
"How is Kirk?" Rory asked.  
  
"He has a mild concussion and a sprained wrist."  
  
"Poor guy."  
  
"He's just in the room next door if you'd like to see him."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
Rory left the room to find Jess waiting outside.  
  
"Is everything okay?" he asked anxiously.  
  
"I'm fine. I just want to check on Kirk then we can go."  
  
"Sure," Jess followed her into Kirk's room.  
  
"I'm really, really sorry, Kirk," Rory apologized.  
  
"That's okay Rory, glad I could be of service. I'm now thinking of applying for a job as a stunt double."  
  
"Well, good luck with that."  
  
Rory said goodbye and Jess drove her home.  
  
"Do you want me to stay with you tonight?" he asked when they pulled up in front of her house.  
  
Rory gave him a warning look.  
  
"Seriously. I'll sleep on the couch, just to make sure you're alright."  
  
"You heard the doctor, I'm fine."  
  
"To make me feel better then. It was my stupid idea to climb up there."  
  
"I thought it was a good idea, actually. Not safe or sensible, but I liked it."  
  
"Let me stay." Jess was practically pleading with her. He looked really concerned.  
  
"I-" Rory began, but the phone rang.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"I'm fine, mom," she said.  
  
Jess used her distraction to make a bed for himself on the couch.  
  
He opened a closet door in search of a blanket and a large collection of junk toppled out. Oops.  
  
"Hey Rory, where would I find a blanket?" he called.  
  
Rory put a finger to her lips and told Jess to be quiet.  
  
"I gotta go mom, bye!" she said quickly and hung up the phone before turning to Jess.  
  
"What are you doing?" she asked him.  
  
"You didn't have to hang up on her," he told her.  
  
"I don't think my mom would be very impressed to hear that you were, once again, alone with her daughter late at night. And messing up her house." Rory added, looking at the pile on the floor in front of the closet.  
  
"I was looking for a blanket," Jess explained.  
  
"Did I say you could stay?" Rory asked.  
  
Jess pouted, "please?"  
  
Rory gave in. He was so damn gorgeous when he pouted. "Alright, I'll get you a blanket." She headed upstairs to find one.  
  
"Yeah." Jess congratulated himself.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
TBC 


	8. When in doubt, duck When certain, don't ...

AN: Sorry it's been a while. But I have the attention span of a gnat  
  
  
  
*****  
  
WHEN IN DOUBT, DUCK. WHEN CERTAIN, DON'T BOTHER COS YOU'RE ALREADY SCREWED  
  
*****  
  
  
  
*ring ring*  
  
  
  
LORELAI: "Hello?"  
  
RORY: "Hi Mom, how are you?"  
  
LORELAI: "I'm fine. Can't say the same for Luke though. He has a black eye."  
  
RORY: "Really? Let me talk to him."  
  
LUKE: "Hi Rory."  
  
RORY: "Luke, what happened?"  
  
LUKE: "We were at one of those big roadhouses on the highway and your mom tried to take on a gang of bikers."  
  
RORY: "And they hit you?"  
  
LUKE: "No, she did. They were actually really nice guys."  
  
RORY: "Well, I hope your face feels better. Can you put my mom back on?"  
  
LORELAI: "Hello?"  
  
RORY: "Mom why did you punch Luke?"  
  
LORELAI: "It's a long story, but I warned him to duck! And it's not that bad. I have yet to perfect my right hook. I got a ride on a Harley though."  
  
RORY: "Oh boy."  
  
LORELAI: "Oooh, moving on. Guess what? I got a phone call from Taylor today."  
  
RORY: "Oh no! We thought it was just an empty threat! He actually went through with it?"  
  
LORELAI: "He did. There was lots of talk about how disappointed he was, because although he expected this behaviour from a delinquent like Jess, Rory's usually such a good girl. Then there was talk of irresponsible parent figures failing to provide adequate supervision. I believe there was even a lecture about the evils of pre-marital sex in there somewhere. So there had better be a juicy explanation for why I had to sit through all of that."  
  
RORY: "It's nothing! I've just been following your mom's-out-of-town rules. Staying out late, playing music too loud. There have been a couple of minor incidents, the fire alarm, the gazebo, the broken window..."  
  
LORELAI: "Broken window? I don't think I've heard that one."  
  
RORY: "An over-enthusiastic game of bagel hockey. But they were all accidents! It's not as if we set out to cause trouble."  
  
LORELAI: "We being?"  
  
RORY: "Me and Jess."  
  
LORELAI: "You're spending an awful lot of time together."  
  
RORY: "You and Dean are out of town, Lane isn't allowed out much. Plus he has the coffee."  
  
LORELAI: "That's my girl. However, you will note my concern that you were never involved in any such 'accidents' pre-Jess."  
  
RORY: "Duly noted - hold on that's the doorbell....hi Jess."  
  
LORELAI: "Jess is there?.....Luke to do you want to talk to Jess?"  
  
LORELAI: "Ok Rory, let Luke talk to Jess, and don't partake in any activities that make it necessary for me to have to speak to Taylor again."  
  
RORY: "I'll try. Bye Mom."  
  
LORELAI: "Bye, Hon."  
  
LUKE: "Hello, Jess?"  
  
JESS: "Hey."  
  
LUKE: "Don't hey me. I've been speaking to Taylor, or rather, Taylor's been speaking to me."  
  
JESS: "I didn't do it!"  
  
LUKE: "Didn't do what?"  
  
JESS: "Whatever it is he's accusing me of. I mean, the man is a Nazi. Seriously. Since when does this town have a curfew?"  
  
LUKE: "I don't want to hear it. Just don't pull any more pranks."  
  
JESS: "They're not pranks, they're genuine accidents."  
  
LUKE: "Well any more and I will genuinely kick your butt."  
  
JESS: "Aw, Uncle Luke, I didn't know you cared."  
  
LUKE: "Do not, I repeat, NOT, get Rory into any more trouble. I told Lorelai I trusted you."  
  
JESS: "And me messing with her daughter's gonna screw up your chances of getting laid?"  
  
LUKE: "Jess! We are finally friends again after you last 'incident!'"  
  
JESS: "Well it's not my fault it took you so long. Look, you said you trust me so why don't you act like it? I would never do anything to hurt Rory."  
  
LUKE: "I believe you."  
  
JESS: "Good. So how's your trip?"  
  
LUKE: "Shut up Jess."  
  
JESS: "I was just asking."  
  
LUKE: "I'll send a 'wish you were here' postcard."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"So'd you get a lecture?" Jess asked Rory when he hung up the phone.  
  
"Not really, my mom actually encourages a little wild behaviour, but she does get concerned."  
  
"And Luke hates having to talk to Taylor. Anyway, what's on the agenda for tonight?" Jess was making himself comfortable on the couch.  
  
"Don't you have to work at the diner?" Rory stood over him with hands on hips.  
  
"Not since I closed it up."  
  
"You can't just close up the diner!" Rory protested.  
  
"It's Monday night. Nobody goes out. The good people of Stars Hollow can fend for themselves for once."  
  
Rory pulled Jess up and pushed him out the door.  
  
"Hey!" Jess protested, "I am getting the strangest sense of deja vu..."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Earlier, at a B&B in Illinois..  
  
  
  
"I'm just saying, B&B's give me the creeps."  
  
"And I'm agreeing with you, but it was this or the roach infested motor inn," Luke said as he opened the door to their room.  
  
Lorelai stepped tentatively into the room at looked around. "One bed," she commented.  
  
"Huh. Figures."  
  
"No couch," she added unnecessarily.  
  
"Nope." Luke looked around uncomfortably.  
  
"Look, Luke, I think we can be mature about this," Lorelai began.  
  
"I'm sorry, did you just use the word 'mature' to refer to yourself?" Luke asked.  
  
Lorelai's cell phone began ringing.  
  
"Would you rather sleep on the floor?" Lorelai threatened.  
  
"Just answer the phone," said Luke.  
  
"Hello?....What?.....Taylor?....What?.....No.....I....." Lorelai gave up trying to get a word in edgeways and rolled her eyes at Luke. "uh- huh....Yep....Sure I'm listening....have you finished?....Luke?"  
  
Luke shook his head emphatically. But Lorelai nodded hers back slowly with a wicked smile.  
  
"Sure, he's right here.... yeah, great talking to you Taylor."  
  
Luke reluctantly took the phone, "what?....Taylor.... NO.. TAYLOR! .. Oh that's it." Luke dropped the phone on the bed in disgust.  
  
"Did you just hang up on him?" Lorelai asked.  
  
"I listened for longer than he deserved."  
  
"You're not concerned about anything he said?"  
  
"Taylor complains if you mow the lawn to the wrong height."  
  
"I know, I know."  
  
"Rory's a sensible kid. And, believe it or not, I do trust Jess."  
  
"Okay, I'm still calling Rory though." Lorelai reached for her cell phone.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
"Let me see your face." Lorelai pounced on Luke as soon as he re-entered the room after getting changed for bed.  
  
Luke jerked his head away from her outstretched hand. "It's fine," he insisted.  
  
"I said I'm sorry, right?"  
  
"Many times."  
  
"And we're cool?"  
  
"Yes," Luke assured her.  
  
"Good. So." she trailed off as they stood one either side of the bed.  
  
"This is silly. Just lie down," said Luke.  
  
"You lie down."  
  
"You first."  
  
"On the count of three."  
  
They both sat rigidly on the very edge of the bed.  
  
"Lie down!" Lorelai put a pillow between them and lay with her back to Luke. He mirrored her pose.  
  
"Now go to sleep." Lorelai ordered.  
  
"Yes, mam!"  
  
"What is that noise?" Lorelai asked several minutes later.  
  
"It's the clock ticking." Luke answered.  
  
"Is it on steroids or something? That is the noisiest clock I've ever heard."  
  
"Just go to sleep," Luke told her.  
  
"I can't sleep," Lorelai complained.  
  
"Yeah neither can I when you keep talking."  
  
"You're hogging the blanket," Lorelai whined.  
  
"Ah, this is hell," Luke grumbled.  
  
"I really can't sleep. Apart from the clock, it's way too early." Lorelai wriggled restlessly trying to get comfortable.  
  
"What, you want me to tell you a bedtime story?" Luke asked.  
  
"Sarcasm is not helping."  
  
"I know, but what can we do? Venture out into the nothingness that is the town? Watch the non-existant TV?"  
  
"We could dissect the clock," Lorelai suggested.  
  
"How about you just pretend to be sleeping?" Luke suggested.  
  
For once taking his advice, Lorelai closed her eyes and did just that.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
The next morning Lorelai woke up with a stiff neck.  
  
'Ah' she lifted her head slightly and rolled it from side to side before slowly opening her eyes. No wonder her neck was sore. Her pillow was wedged between the bed and the dresser and her head had been resting partly on the dresser. The lamp which had been sitting on the dresser last night had been knocked to the floor. The sheet was twisted oddly around her upper body.  
  
Lorelai raised her head further and looked over to Luke who had managed to win the blanket battle and was sleeping in a relatively normal position apart from the one Lorelai's legs was hooked over his chest. He woke up while she was removing it.  
  
"Remind me never to sleep with you again," he said.  
  
"Now there's something a girl loves to hear first thing in the morning," Lorelai responded dryly. She surveyed the damage, "What happened here?"  
  
"Hurricane Lorelai." Luke replied.  
  
"No."  
  
"Yes. I don't know what you were dreaming about, but it was brutal. It started about 2 am when your arm smacked me in the nose. I just got back to sleep when the kicking started."  
  
"I'm sorry, Luke, it must have been that clock. It gave me nightmares. It was alive! Only not in the 'Beauty and the Beast' kind of way. It was larger than life, like one of those horses in Taylor's Soda Fountain model. It was taunting me, so I took up kickboxing to fight it off. I was pretty good too."  
  
Luke just shook his head.  
  
  
  
***** 


	9. The only time you have too much fuel is ...

AN: There will be no updates for at least 2 weeks as I'm going OS.  
  
Thank you to everyone who reviewed, especially Jade, the most prolific reviewer ever! To Jewls13, I wish I could remember where chap 8 title came from. I just love collecting quotable stuff like that but usually don't bother to reference them. And to everyone who wants to see R/J and L/L action - patience is a virtue. I'm having too much fun with almost-there flirty scenes at the moment.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
THE ONLY TIME YOU HAVE TOO MUCH FUEL IS WHEN YOU'RE ON FIRE  
  
*****  
  
  
  
*ring ring*  
  
  
  
LUKE: "Hello?"  
  
RORY: "Hi Luke, it's Rory. Where are you today?"  
  
LUKE: "Hell."  
  
RORY: "Is that somewhere in Iowa?"  
  
LUKE: "Missouri actually."  
  
RORY: "Missouri? Cool! Have you see Mark Twain's house?"  
  
LUKE: "Oh yeah, we're right outside now."  
  
RORY: "Really?"  
  
LUKE: "NO! We're in the middle of freaking nowhere! Hang on I'll put your mom on."  
  
LORELAI: "Hello?"  
  
RORY: "Hi mom, what's going on?"  
  
LORELAI: "Don't mind Luke, he's just a little annoyed with Vincent at the moment."  
  
RORY: "Oh, well I hope it works out. And you should visit Mark Twain's house for me while you're there."  
  
LORELAI: "Okay, where is it?"  
  
RORY: "Somewhere in Missouri?"  
  
LORELAI: "I'll see how we go. Listen I better go."  
  
RORY: "Okay, I just called to say hi."  
  
LORELAI: "I'll call you back later."  
  
RORY: "Sure, bye mom."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Earlier that day.....  
  
  
  
Lorelai was driving down a deserted stretch of highway.  
  
"Hey, that sign said Kirksville!" she commented, "I wonder if it's full of Kirks? Or maybe there's just a big shrine."  
  
"Let's NOT go and find out," Luke said.  
  
"Uh oh," Lorelai said softly.  
  
"Why are we stopping?" Luke demanded.  
  
"I'm not stopping, the car's stopping," Lorelai pulled over to the side of the road as the engine died and refused to restart.  
  
Luke sighed and got out of the car. Lorelai popped the bonnet and looked expectantly Luke, "well?"  
  
"Well that's definitely the engine," he said, "I'm not a mechanic, I flip burgers for a living, remember?"  
  
"But you're a man. You're good at all that manly, fixing stuff," Lorelai insisted.  
  
"The oil and water levels are fine. There's nothing obviously out of place," Luke concluded.  
  
"Maybe it's just tired," Lorelai suggested.  
  
"Okay, try it again," Luke tried pushing the car to get it rolling, but the engine only coughed and spluttered.  
  
"Uh, Luke?" Lorelai called timidly, "I think I know the problem. We're out of gas."  
  
Luke leant through the open door and looked at the indicator on the dashboard, "It shows a quarter of a tank left!"  
  
"That gauge doesn't actually work," Lorelai admitted sheepishly.  
  
Luke took a step back, wiped sweat off his brow and kicked a wheel in disgust, "stupid piece of crap," he yelled at the car.  
  
"Don't talk to Vincent like that!"  
  
Luke turned on Lorelai, "Vincent? You named this dumb car that you insisted we take? This would never have happened if we had take my, UNNAMED, truck. I can't believe you didn't check that we had enough gas! This mess is all your fault! This whole thing was your idea; I didn't even want to go on a crazy road trip! But no, you were all, 'come on Luke, it'll be fun.' There is a reason I never take vacations you know, they always end in disaster! Now we've left Rory and Jess alone to destroy the town while we're stuck in the middle of nowhere...... And I've got a black eye!"  
  
"Calm down," Lorelai thew Luke a bottle of water when he finished his rant, "I said I was sorry about the black eye. It's looking better already," she cocked her head, "more purple."  
  
Luke scowled and Lorelai moved on, "Rory and Jess will be fine. And someone will come along to help us soon."  
  
"If they don't you can start walking."  
  
Luckily for Lorelai her cell phone rang just then, providing a distraction for Luke who answered it.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"It's Rory," he mouthed to Lorelai.  
  
By the time Lorelai had finished talking to Rory, Luke had gotten over his little sulk and even helped her search the car for something to eat.  
  
"What's that?" Luke asked.  
  
"I think it used to be chocolate." Lorelai gingerly placed the melted brown blob in the rubbish bag.  
  
"What's this?"  
  
"Yay!" Lorelai cheered, "You found gum."  
  
Luke checked the expiry date. "It's three years old," he protested.  
  
"Gum doesn't go off," Lorelai insisted, grabbing the package off him and popping a piece in her mouth.  
  
"You are truly disgusting."  
  
"Thanks honey, I love you too," Lorelai chewed on the gum, "although it has lost a little flavour."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
It was like an oven inside, with the sun baking down on the black roof, so they sat in the shadow of the car, on the side away from the road. Luke took off his sweat-stained shirt and filled his baseball cap with water before putting it back on his head. Lorelai tried not to visibly drool as she watched beads of sweat mixed with water run over his bare shoulders and chest.  
  
After discreetly appreciating the view for several minutes Lorelai wished she could take her top off too. She settled for rolling the short sleeves of her shirt up to her shoulders and borrowing a cap off Luke to follow his water example.  
  
"Ah!" Lorelai sighed happily as water cooled her head.  
  
"Hey, I see something coming!" Luke jumped up.  
  
"What's the driver look like?" Lorelai asked, joining him.  
  
"What does it matter?" he asked.  
  
"Well if it's a woman, we send you out all shirtless and if it's a guy I'll go wave it down."  
  
"Or we could both go out there right now before it disappears in a cloud of dust, leaving us stranded here for another hour." Luke walked quickly to the side of the road and waved down the truck.  
  
"Works for me." Lorelai shrugged and followed him.  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
AN: Feedback please! Especially think about if you think the story is kinda disjointed, cos I do, but I'm not sure how to fix it now! 


	10. Reality is for those who lack immaginati...

AN: Sorry it's been a while, here's a pretty long chapter to compensate. Hope people are still reading!  
  
  
  
*****  
  
REALITY IS FOR THOSE WHO LACK IMMAGINATION  
  
*****  
  
  
  
*ring ring*  
  
  
  
LUKE: "Hello?"  
  
RORY: "Hi Luke, what's happening?"  
  
LUKE: "Your mother impersonated a federal agent."  
  
RORY: "What?"  
  
LUKE: "Here, I'll let her tell you the story."  
  
LORELAI: "Hi Rory!"  
  
RORY: "Hi Mom, what's going on?"  
  
LORELAI: "Well yesterday there was a little problem when Vincent ran out of fuel thirty miles from the nearest gas station in 150 degree heat-"  
  
RORY: "150 degrees?"  
  
LORELAI: "Creative licence."  
  
RORY: "Huge and unnecessary exaggeration."  
  
LORELAI: "May I continue?"  
  
RORY: "Go ahead."  
  
LORELAI: "So we had to flag down this truck and Luke wouldn't let me go in the truck or stay with the car by myself."  
  
RORY: "Sensible Luke."  
  
LORELAI: "Over-protective Luke. But anyway, we both went in the truck and to make the journey a little more interesting I started telling the driver how we came to be stuck there. How Luke and I are special agents undercover to investigate mysterious happenings all over the country and there may be a government conspiracy involved."  
  
RORY: "You lied to the nice man who was helping you?"  
  
LORELAI: "Creative licence, remember, Sweetie."  
  
RORY: "Oh boy. So you were playing Scully and Mulder....."  
  
LORELAI: "Actually I saw myself more as a Sydney type."  
  
RORY: "You are shameless!"  
  
LORELAI: "As you frequently remind me. Well the truck driver totally bought it and dropped us off at the next gas station, only then we had to hitch another ride back to the car. This time I wanted to try a Bonnie and Clyde type story but Luke wouldn't go for it."  
  
RORY: "Poor Luke. What did I tell you about not torturing him?"  
  
LORELAI: "Please, his life was dull before I came along. He's never had so much fun!"  
  
RORY: "He's told you this?"  
  
LORELAI: "I can read it in his glares."  
  
RORY: "So where are you now?"  
  
LORELAI: "Kansas. It's really boring. Even duller than Luke's life before I got to him. Nothing worth mentioning here, I want to know how you've been."  
  
RORY: "I'm fine."  
  
LORELAI: "What have you been up to?"  
  
RORY: "Just the usual - school, homework, paper. Absolutely nothing of interest at all."  
  
LORELAI: "So how's everyone else?"  
  
RORY: "Everyone's fine. Kirk got a goldfish that died within 48 hours. It lasted only slightly longer than Miss Patty's new relationship."  
  
LORELAI: "Poor Kirk."  
  
RORY: "Yeah, he's taking it pretty hard."  
  
LORELAI: "Well tell him I'm sorry. What about Sookie and Jackson?"  
  
RORY: "Jackson's working on growing a new tomato that will apparently revolutionize Sookie's paella. They're really excited, it's so sweet!"  
  
LORELAI: "Aw man, I miss everyone! And how's Lane?"  
  
RORY: "She's been rehearsing with the band a lot."  
  
LORELAI: "Do they have a name yet?"  
  
RORY: "Zac refuses to accept that both Death In Vegas and Sonic Death Monkey are already taken."

LORELAI: "Sonic Death Monkey?"  
  


RORY: "High Fidelity."

LORELAI: "Right, I knew that. Morbid boy."

RORY: "He said to say 'hi' to you."  
LORELAI: "Moving on then. How's Jess?"  
  
RORY: "Uh, Jess? Since when do you care about Jess?"  
  
LORELAI: "I thought I should check up on him for Luke. It's not like their grunting phone conversations reveal anything. Have you been seeing much of him?"  
  
RORY: "Well I see him in the diner everyday."  
  
LORELAI: "And everything's okay?"  
  
RORY: "Yep. Everything's fine. You know, I should go or else you are going to come home to a really scary sized phone bill."  
  
LORELAI: "Okay, well it's great to catch up. I miss you, honey."  
  
RORY: "I miss you too, mom."  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Lorelai handed her cell phone back to Luke with a small sigh.  
  
"You know you really shouldn't be talking on that while driving," he advised her.  
  
Lorelai ignored his comment. "Do you miss Stars Hollow?" she asked.  
  
Luke responded with sarcasm. "Yeah my heart's aching, especially for Taylor."  
  
Lorelai didn't buy it and told him so. "You always complain about all the town events and the crazy residents but you never want to leave," she reminded him.  
  
"Well it's better than some big city full of pollution and noise and even more irritating people."  
  
"Sookie told me that was why you and Rachel broke up. Because you wouldn't leave Stars Hollow and the diner. I guess pleasing your dad must have really meant a lot to you. Like all the trouble you went to for Uncle Louie's funeral....."  
  
Luke cut her off sharply. "Can we not talk about my dad or Rachel, please?"  
  
"Sure." Lorelai shut her mouth and concentrated on the road. Although she understood that Luke might not want to talk about that stuff, Lorelai was still a little hurt that he didn't open up to her. She considered him a good friend, and thought they had been getting closer on this trip.  
  
"Look, I'm sorry," Luke told her, "I didn't mean for it to come out like that."  
  
"I'm not mad," she said.  
  
"Yes you are. You're quiet."  
  
"And if I were mad you would definitely hear about it. Luke, I'm not mad that you don't want to talk to me. Just a little sad."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because we don't talk very much."  
  
"We talk all the time."  
  
"No I talk all the time. We argue mostly. We hardly ever REALLY talk."  
  
"Well what would you like to talk about?" Luke asked.  
  
Lorelai shook her head, "just forget it. I don't really feel much like talking right now."  
  
Luke felt guilty, like he'd made a little kid cry. He found a candy bar, unwrapped the top half and offered it to Lorelai as an apology. She accepted with a small smile. Just like a little kid, Luke thought, only little kids didn't look so cute when they got chocolate on their chin. He reached over and wiped it off for her.  
  
"Thanks." Lorelai said, but still did not attempt any further conversation again and the drive continued in silence.  
  
  
  
  
  
*****  
  
  
  
Meanwhile in Stars Hollow....  
  
  
  
"SNAP!" Rory yelled, slapping her hand down on the pile of cards in front of her.  
  
Long after the diner had closed Jess and Rory were sitting cross-legged on the counter playing cards.  
  
"I was there first!" Jess insisted, trying to wedge his hand under Rory's.  
  
"No way! I've got most of the cards. Your hand's just on that tiny tip on the edge."  
  
"Yeah well that's only cause you cheated and pulled them towards you!"  
  
Both teenagers narrowed their eyes and glared at each other then broke down laughing. They didn't really care about the game. Rory thought about all the time she and Jess had been spending together like this lately. Doing everything from cleaning the diner to playing silly games like this. Just being together felt really good to her. Rory smiled slightly because she was getting all sappy and then yawned.  
  
"I'm so tired. I should go home soon." But instead of making a move to get up, she pushed napkin holders aside and lay back on the counter. Jess lay down beside her.  
  
Rory rolled over onto her side. "We won't both fit here," she told him.  
  
"Sure we will." Jess lay facing her with his head propped up on his hand.  
  
"Not with any semblance of personal space." Rory squirmed away from Jess. "I'm going to fall off," she complained.  
  
"Only if you keep wriggling away." Jess clamped his knee over Rory's to stop her moving. "See? We fit just fine."  
  
Their faces were less than a foot apart and Rory avoided his gaze nervously. This new level of intimacy was freaking her out. Not because she didn't feel comfortable with Jess, quite the opposite. Being this close to him made Rory worried that she might do something stupid.  
  
"I have a question for you," Jess said.  
  
Uh oh, Rory thought, was he going to ask her how she felt about him? Because she honestly wouldn't know how to answer that.  
  
"If you could change the ending of a book, what would it be?"  
  
Rory relaxed and answered confidently; "I wouldn't want to do that. I want to experience the books the way the author intended."  
  
"Come on. There has to be some book that leaves you thinking that's not the way it's supposed to be."  
  
"Okay. 'Little Women'. I'd have Jo and Laurie end up together."  
  
"Aw man, why do chicks always want to do that?!?"  
  
"Hey you asked! They were meant to be together! They grew up as best friends... It just seems right."  
  
"But everyone got a happy ending," Jess pointed out.  
  
"So you'd only fix books where the characters don't end up happy?"  
  
"No, I like when books don't end perfectly," Jess replied. "It's closer to real life," He added pointedly.  
  
Rory chose to avoid his comment about real life and continued their discussion. "What about books that don't really end at all? That leave you feeling like that entire thing was a waste of time?"  
  
Jess smirked. "Are you referring Jack Kerouac?"  
  
"How did you know?" Rory asked.  
  
"You've been spending way too much time with Paris." Jess commented.  
  
"But 'On The Road' - there's an ending I'd like to change. Sal would tell Dean what a jerk he is and Celeste would dump him once and for all and SOMETHING productive would come out of years wandering around the country."  
  
"Now that is so not the point of that book."  
  
"I know." Rory agreed, "But that guy was really annoying me by the end."  
  
"Wanna give Romeo and Juliet cell phones as well?" Jess suggested.  
  
Rory flicked a card at him. " Hey I wonder what mom and Luke doing on their road trip?"  
  
"Drinking up, stealing food, picking up prostitutes, getting high."  
  
Rory flicked another card at him and Jess raised a hand in front of his face defensively.  
  
"Sorry." He said. "I bet they're doing it, though."  
  
"Eew, no. It sounds like mom's annoying him."  
  
"That's part of her charm. I'm not sure they'll come home as a couple, but twenty bucks says they do it before they get back."  
  
"You're on." Rory accepted the bet and they shook hands to seal the deal.  
  
"But how will we know?" Rory asked, "I hardly think Luke's going to take out a national advertisement."  
  
"Lorelai tells you everything." Jess reminded her.  
  
"Not about her sex life. And even if she did who's to say I'd pass it on?"  
  
"I trust you," Jess told Rory. "Besides, this is Stars Hollow. Nothing happens without the whole town knowing."  
  
"Very true." Rory yawned again, "What time is it?"  
  
Jess checked his watch lazily, "nearly 2 a.m."  
  
"I have to go home!" Rory exclaimed, "it's a school night!" she leapt off the counter.  
  
"Relax," Jess told her, "you can stay here if you want."  
  
Rory shook her head. "Really not a good idea."  
  
"I'll be a perfect gentleman. Don't you trust me?"  
  
"Of course I do, but like you said, this is Stars Hollow. I don't want everyone to get the wrong idea."  
  
"Walking around at 2 a.m. probably isn't quite the image you want to portray either." Jess prompted her.  
  
"There's no one around," said Rory.  
  
"I bet Taylor has security cameras hidden everywhere."  
  
"You don't give up do you?"  
  
"Nope," Jess replied easily. "You can sleep in Luke's bed. No one will think it's strange to see you eating breakfast in the diner tomorrow morning."  
  
"Yeah, okay," Rory followed Jess upstairs. She didn't really feel like walking all the way home. "You do realize Lorelai will kill you if she finds out?"  
  
"She'll have to get in like behind Luke. And Dean. And probably most of the town." Jess threw Rory a clean pillowcase.  
  
"Doesn't it bother you that so many people here don't seem to like you that much?" Rory asked Jess as she slid under the covers.  
  
"You like me right?" he answered from across the room.  
  
"Sure."  
  
"Then it's all good. Night Rory."  
  
"Night Jess."  
  
  
  
TBC…If you're nice…


	11. Everybody's someone else's weirdo

*****

EVERYBODY'S SOMEONE ELSES WEIRDO

*****

*ring ring*

RORY: "Hello?"

LORELAI: "Rory, thank god! I've been trying to call you all day!"

RORY: "I've been at school, then at a Franklin meeting."

LORELAI: "I tried calling this morning too."

RORY: "Uh, I must have already left."

LORELAI: "At 6:15?"

RORY: "Why were you calling me at 6:15?"

LORELAI: "So I could catch you before you left for school."

RORY: "Well, I, uh, spent the night at a friend's house."

LORELAI: "Mrs Kim let you stay over on a school night?"  
  
  


RORY: "No, I wasn't at Lane's."

LORELAI: "Then where were you? Don't bother trying to lie because I know you too well."

RORY: "Promise you won't freak out?"

LORELAI: "I will make no such promise. You've got me really worried now. Were you at the hospital? In jail?"

RORY: "No, I stayed at the diner last night."

LORELAI: "LUKE! We're going home RIGHT NOW! I swear, I'm gonna kill that little punk!"

RORY: "Jess didn't do anything wrong, mom! Nothing happened, I swear. We were just talking and suddenly it was really late. Too late for me to walk home, so I stayed in Luke's bed. It's pretty comfortable, you should try it."

LORELAI: "SUDDENLY it was really late? You were JUST talking?"

RORY: "Yes. Talking about books, mostly. And about you and Luke having sex."

LORELAI: "Oh god."

RORY: "Mom, I promise you everything is fine here."  
  
  


LORELAI: "Okay."

RORY: "Okay?"

LORELAI: "Okay, I believe you."

RORY: "Good."

LORELAI: "But Rory please don't do this to me. I'm too far away to be worrying about you like this."

RORY: "I'm sorry for making you worry, mom."

LORELAI: "I love you, baby. And I trust you and I know I can't make you stay away from Jess, but please don't do anything stupid. That's my job."

RORY: "Agreed."

LORELAI: "Alright then. I'll call you again later."

RORY: "Bye, mom."

*****

Earlier…..

Luke was driving and Lorelai was back to her normal, bubbly self after giving Luke the silent treatment the day before. 

"Excessive consumption may produce a laxative effect," she read from the back of a gum packet, "is four packets in one hour excessive?" she asked Luke.

"Absolutely," he confirmed. 

Lorelai discovered a bag of coffee beans she'd purchased in Boston and began chewing on them instead. Luke looked at her in disbelief. 

"I'm gonna try calling Rory again." Lorelai announced, ignoring his strange looks.

"There's still no answer," she complained a minute later.

"She's probably not home from school yet." Luke tried to reassure her.

"Yeah, she probably had a student council meeting or something. Okay, I'll give it another half hour." Lorelai turned her attention to the map, "meanwhile, I'll figure out which town we should stop in for tonight."  
  
  


"Remember what happened last time you tried to do that?" Luke warned.  
  
  


"It didn't look that far away! Just a few miles off the highway." Lorelai responded defensively.

"It took us two hours on a dirt road! Every time I suggested we turn back you insisted we were 'nearly there.' I thought we agreed that I would navigate from then on," he reminded her.

"Was that some sexist comment about women not being able to read maps, Lucas Danes?"  
  
  


"No, I know plenty of women who can read maps perfectly well, you just don't happen to be one of them!" Luke shot back.

"I promise I won't take us off the highway again."

  
"Okay. And no more picking towns to stay in because they're named after characters from Willy Wonka's chocolate factory!"

"Unless we find a town called Oompa Loompa." Lorelai added.  
  
  


"I'd say we're safe there."

  
*****

Several hours later, after Lorelai had finally spoken Rory, the sun was setting as they came into a small town. 

"Leafy Falls, Colorado." Lorelai read off the sign, "population 7265 2/3."

"And two thirds?" Luke asked.

Lorelai shrugged. "That's what it said. I'm starved and I need some real coffee. Can we stop here for the night?"

"Fine by me."

They checked in to the local motel and found a diner called 'Alexia's' in the main street. 

"Hey there, just take a seat anywhere and I'll bring you some menus." A cheerful teenage girl with long blonde hair and freckles offered.  
  
  


Lorelai and Luke took a table by the window.

Moments later the girl appeared and handed them a menu each. "Hi, I'm Jenny. How are you today?"

"Hungry," Lorelai replied.

"Well my Auntie makes some of the best food in town," she pointed out a pretty woman in her early-thirties working behind the counter, "so long as you're not after anything really fancy, that is." 

"So she'd be Alexia?" Lorelai asked, remembering the sign on the front door.

"That's right. People around here call her Lexa mostly. Anyway, I'll give you a chance to decide what you want. I'll be back in a minute."

Lorelai nudged Luke. "Just like you and Jess, only female and friendly," she whispered. 

"Ssh, I'm trying to read." Luke buried his nose in the menu.

"That Alexia's pretty don't you think?" Lorelai continued to tease, "don't you wanna go talk to her? Swap some diner notes or something?"

"I thought you were starving?" Luke reminded Lorelai, pointing out that she was yet to open her menu.

"I already know what I want," she replied.

"Well don't you want to check that they serve it?" he asked.

"What sort of a diner doesn't have burgers?" asked Lorelai.

Jenny returned just then. "So have you decided what you'd like?"  
  
  


"Yes, we have," Luke answered, but before he could order Lorelai had engaged the girl in conversation.

"Hey Jenny, I have a question. Why is the population of the town seven thousand and whatever and TWO THIRDS?"

"Oh, that's because Amanda McGill is six months pregnant."

"So does that mean someone has to change the sign every month?"  
  
  


"It's like one of those scoreboards at a football game, you just flip a number. It's much cheaper and easier than repainting the sign all the time," Jenny explained.

"Oh, well that does make sense. We'll have to tell Taylor," she said to Luke before turning back to the waitress, "Sorry, Jenny. I will have a burger with everything except the vegetables and the biggest cup of coffee you have, please." Lorelai ordered.

Luke gave Lorelai a disapproving look. "And I'll have a small salad and a veggie juice, thanks." 

"So that's how you keep your girlish figure," Lorelai teased. 

Jenny smiled at them. "Won't be long," she promised. 

Lorelai looked out the window at the activity across the street where people seemed to be setting up for some sort of an event. "This town is weird," she commented.

"So is Stars Hollow," Luke pointed out.  
  
  


They both watched as a man carrying what appeared to be a life-sized papier-mâché pig with a large walnut in its mouth sidestepped a mother hen waddling down the sidewalk with ducklings in tow.

"But Stars Hollow's idiosyncrasies are quirky in a charming way. This is a little disturbing," said Lorelai.

"But we don't know this town. Visitors to Stars Hollow probably think we're all loopy. I think we're all loopy sometimes."

"Since when are you Mr. Diplomacy?" 

Luke shrugged and looked out the window again. "You may have a point."

"Ha!" Lorelai pounced. "So you do agree with me. Which means you were arguing before just for the sake of arguing. Why?"

"It's what we do."

Jenny arrived with their meals just then. They both thanked her and Lorelai returned to Luke's comment. He was right. "And why is that what we do?" she asked.

"Oh no, not this again," Luke sighed, "I'm not trying to be mean, but we are not dissecting our entire relationship in a town where chickens roam the streets freely."

"Okay." Lorelai agreed. Not wanting to make a big deal about it, she returned to the subject of the chickens, "And the locals probably just grab one off the street, chop its head off, pluck it and boil it every time they get hungry." Lorelai punctuated her sentence with a large bite of her burger.

"Does that not put you off food at all?" Luke asked incredulously.

"What? It's a HAMburger." Lorelai took another bite.

Luke just shook his head and dug into his salad.

"You know this is pretty good coffee," Lorelai commented as she used it to wash down her burger. "No as good as yours, Luke, but better then most of the stuff I've had on this trip."

"So how long are you in town for?" Jenny asked them when she came to clear their plates. 

"Just one night," Lorelai replied.

"Well you're in luck because tonight's our annual Fall Fig Festival. Everyone's there, I'm just about to a finish up here and go over."

Luke and Lorelai noticed for the first time that the diner had emptied out since they arrived.

"A Fig Festival?" Luke asked Jenny curiously. 

"Don't ask me who came up with that one. Don't worry, there's all kinds of food, especially anything beginning with the letter 'F.'"  
  
  


"Fairy Floss?" asked a hopeful Lorelai.

"Sure! Leo helped to arrange it and he loves his junk food." Jenny pointed out a man who had just entered the diner and was now standing at the counter.

"Cute," Lorelai approved.

"He is, isn't he?" Jenny grinned, "he can be a little crazy, but everyone loves him," she lowered her voice, "especially Lexa, she just won't admit it yet."  
  
"Jenny!" Alexia called from across the diner.

Jenny jumped guiltily and finished collecting their dishes. "Gotta go! Just pay at the counter when you're ready. And you guys should definitely stop by the festival. It's right across the road."

"Thanks, we'll keep it in mind," Lorelai said. 

She and Luke had soon finished off their drinks and headed up to the counter. Jenny waved goodbye as she left the diner, her shift obviously over for the night.

At the counter, they waited to pay while Alexia conversed with Leo. 

"Come on, Alexia, give me another cup of coffee. Please?" Leo pouted.

Alexia grinned at him, but shook her head. "Nope! You've reached your quota for the day, Leo." She pointed to a corner of the specials board with 'LEO' written on it. Beside his name there were four vertical dashed with a fifth drawn diagonally across the others. 

Leo shook his head, "why am I the only one who has a limit? It's discrimination!"

"You're the only one who's that addicted," Alexia reminded him. "Plus we both know I'm the only person in this town who can make a decent cup of coffee, which means I have the power over YOU. And I just love that!" she smirked at him.

"Mean! Don't make me come back there and get it," Leo warned playfully.

Alexia finally noticed Lorelai and Luke waiting. "I'll get back to you," she pointed warningly Leo, "after I serve the REAL customers."  
  
  


"Am I not real?" Leo appealed to Luke and Lorelai.

Alexia rolled her eyes. "Sorry about that." she told Luke and Lorelai. "Don't mind Leo, we only keep him around for entertainment value. I've known him since we were ten, and, as you can see, he hasn't grown up much since then."

"He looks pretty grown up to me." Lorelai said.

Leo flashed her a boyish smile. 

Alexia just laughed. "Don't feed his ego, Leo knows he's gorgeous."

"And she knows it too. Excuse Lexa's manners," Leo said to Luke and Lorelai, "hi, I'm Leo." 

"I'm Luke, and this is Lorelai."

"Nice to meet you," Lorelai smiled. 

Jenny burst through the door just then. "Hi everyone, don't mind me, I just forgot my wallet! Bye!" she was in and out in less than thirty seconds.

"Teenagers," Alexia rolled her eyes. 

"She seems nice, Alexia" Lorelai said.

"Please, call me Lexa."

"Okay. Well Jenny's very friendly, unlike some teenagers I know."

"Do you two have kids?" Leo asked.

Luke and Lorelai looked at each other.

"Uh, not together," Luke pointed between himself and Lorelai, "we're not, um...."

Lorelai laughed. "We're working on his people skills. I think what Luke is trying to say is that we're not a couple. But I do have a daughter. Rory's about Jenny's age. She's great."

"So the unfriendly teenager comment?" Lexa asked.

"Directed at Luke's nephew, Jess." Lorelai said.

Luke realized that they were the last remaining customers, excluding Leo, and had yet to pay the bill. "Sorry, we're holding you up" he said to Lexa.

"No problem," she replied easily.

Lorelai paid for the meal. "This seems like a really nice town," she told Lexa sincerely. 

"Suck up," Luke accused in a whisper, "you were the one who just said the town was weird."

"So I changed my mind," Lorelai whispered back.

"It is a nice town." Lexa agreed, "A little nuts sometimes, but you learn to love it."

"Oh, can I get a cup of coffee to go too please?" Lorelai reached for her wallet again but Lexa shook her head.

"It's on the house," she told Lorelai.

"Thank you so much!"

"It's the end of the pot, I would have just thrown it out anyway," Lexa explained.  
  
  


"What about giving it to me?" Leo demanded.

"Sorry, mine now." Lorelai took the cup, "but it was nice to meet you both."

"You two. Even if you did take my coffee," Leo replied.

"See you around," Lexa said. 

As Lorelai and Luke left, Lexa and Leo returned to their banter. 

"LEX-US!" Leo called, "make me some more coffee, woman!"

"Don't call me that, LEOPOLD!" she sang back.

"My name is not Leopold, Sexy-Lexi."

"Do you want me to hit you, LEONARDO?" 

"No, I want you to give me some coffee, Lex. You know you want to. Please?" Leo continued.

"Okay, now I'm officially scared." Luke said once they were outside. 

"Oh my god, Luke, this is our parallel universe!" Lorelai declared. 

"Is this what we look like to the rest of the world?" he asked. 

They both turned to look back through the glass door at Lexa and Leo leaning over the counter laughing.

"Nah." They both shook their heads unconvincingly and turned back around.

Lorelai changed the subject. "I want to call Rory back and check that she's not with Jess. I don't want to ban her from seeing him, but it worries me when they start having slumber parties. I KNOW Rory's smart and responsible, but they just seem to be together ALL the time."

"It bothers me too. But I'll talk to Jess,' said Luke.

"Thanks, Luke. I know you really care about Rory."

"Of course. I care about both of you."

Lorelai smiled at him for a split second longer than you would at just as friend. "So do you want to check out this Fig Festival?" she asked, "it sounds just crazy enough to be fun."

"I never want to go to this stuff in our own town, why would I want to do it here?" Luke asked.

"Because you have nothing better to do," Lorelai prodded. "The motel doesn't even have cable, I checked."

"Okay, we'll have a quick look."

While Lorelai and Luke stood outside the diner discussing this, inside, Leo had dragged Lexa to the door. 

"Come on! Close up early, everyone's eating at the festival anyway!" he told her. 

"I don't want to go the wacky festival!" Lexa insisted. 

"I went to all the trouble to organize it and you won't even check it out." Leo acted offended.

"It's not as if you set up with the whole thing single-handedly." 

"Please come with me, I'll buy you a fig."

"Now there's an offer no woman can refuse." Lexa responded sarcastically, but she flipped the 'closed' sign on the door and let Leo lead her outside.

Leo tugged on her dark, messy ponytail as they crossed the street.

Lexa shoved him playfully in return. "You are such a kid," she yelled before they disappeared into the crowd.

Lorelai and Luke both stared after then openly for several seconds before Lorelai turned to Luke. "We are not like that," she insisted. 

He agreed. "They're just like teenagers with crushes they won't admit to."  
  
  


Lorelai smiled, almost wistfully. "It looks like fun."

"Aren't you past that?" Luke asked.

"I was a teenager with a baby, not a crush. Remember?"

"I'll pull your hair if it will make you feel better," Luke offered.  
  
  


"Thanks, maybe later. I'll just give my baby a quick call." Lorelai pulled out her cell phone as she and Luke crossed the road to check out the festivities.

*****

TBC

AN: Thanks to everyone who reviewed -  Keep it up!


	12. Life is too short to eat fruit

AN: Hey, I'm glad most people seemed to like the parallel universe thing. I was only going to include it in one chapter, but I enjoyed writing the last one so much that I wanted to spend more time with my two new favourite characters, Leo and Lexa. Sorry, this means R/J interaction will have to wait until the next chapter, but I'll hopefully post again real soon.

AN2: I just remembered that fairy floss is called cotton candy, but since it fits with the 'F' food theme, just go with it.

*****

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO EAT FRUIT

*****

*ring ring*

RORY: "Hello?"

LORELAI: "Good to find you home."

RORY: "Hi mom, where are you tonight?"

LORELAI: "The Twilight Zone."

RORY: "Really?"

LORELAI: "Where else would you find a Fall Fig Festival? Anyway, I'm just calling to check up on you."

RORY: "And I'm still FINE."

LORELAI: "Not with Jess?"

RORY: "No. Tonight I even got food from Al's instead of going to the diner. And now I'm sitting home, all alone, doing my homework. The wild party's scheduled for tomorrow night."

LORELAI: "Good girl!"

RORY: "So are you having a good time?"  
  


LORELAI: "Yeah, I had some decent coffee and this festival's actually really pretty. There are figs and fairy lights strung from the trees. Ooh, I see Lex and Leo."

RORY: "Who?"

LORELAI: "Our twins. Only I'm Leo and Luke's Lexa."

RORY: "I think this time away from home is really getting to you."  
  


LORELAI: "Aw they make such a cute couple, I'm gonna go say 'hi.' Good night, honey, stay away from Jess!"

RORY: "Uh, okay, bye mom."  
  


*****

"Come on!" Lorelai tugged on Luke's arm and pulled him towards the food stand where Lexa and Leo were standing.

"Lorelai what are you doing? We don't even know these people!"

"Sure we do, we've all been introduced, remember? Besides, they're practically us, which makes them our new best friends!"

"That makes no sense what so ever," Luke complained.

"Sorry, but I for one am curious about these two. So we either go up and talk to them or follow them around spying all night."

"Let's go." Not liking the alternative, Luke followed Lorelai as she joined the end of the short queue, directly behind Lexa and Leo.

"Oh, hi there." Lorelai said casually.

"Hi Lorelai, hi Luke," Lexa responded equally cheerfully.

"I see you've decided to start at my personal favourite area of any festival – the food stand," Leo said. 

"Couldn't keep her away." Luke rolled his eyes, "I have no idea where Lorelai puts all the food she manages to consume."  
  


"I say the same thing about Leo all the time," Lexa agreed, "he's constantly in the diner eating and eating. He should be the size of a Mack truck."  
  


Luke and Lexa laughed while Leo and Lorelai checked out the food.

"I recommend starting with the fries," Leo told Lorelai.

"I'm looking forward to the fairy floss," she replied.

"That too, is exceptionally good. I think I'll have both. Although I did just eat dinner…" Leo trailed off.  
  


"Me too," said Lorelai.  
  


"Maybe we should pace ourselves," Leo pondered.

He and Lorelai shared a glance. "Nah!" they said simultaneously and ordered large helpings of both fries and fairy floss. 

Luke and Lexa both ordered small fruit smoothies and the foursome moved away from the stand together, sampling their purchases as they did.

"This is really good," Luke said and offered some of his smoothie to Lorelai.

"What's in it?" she asked.

"Fresh fruit and low fat frozen fruit yoghurt," Lexa answered.

Lorelai wrinkled up her nose, "no thanks. But would you be a honey, Luke, and hold this fairy floss while I eat my fries?" 

"If you promise never to refer to me as a 'honey' again."  
  


"Done," Lorelai off-loaded her dessert onto Luke, which left her hands free to attack the fries with a vengeance.

"Hey do you two want to walk around with us for a bit?" Leo asked Luke and Lorelai, "we can show you all the best stuff at the festival."  
  


"Like the exit," said Lexa.

Leo elbowed her. "More like the Froot Loop competition," he said.

"Sounds great!" Lorelai said brightly.

"Yeah, thanks," Luke added.

"No problem," Lexa replied easily. 

"Hey – Lorelai, Luke, Lexa and Leo. We make quite a team," Leo commented.

"My name's too long," Lorelai complained, "I'm the odd one out."  
  


"ALEXIA's the odd one out," Leo said.

Lexa wrinkled her nose; "You know I don't really like that name."  
  


"So how'd you end up with your nickname?" Lorelai asked, "Why don't people just call you Alex or something?"  
  


"It's all this guy's fault," Lexa pointed to Leo, "when we were kids he had this terrible lisp and couldn't pronounce 'Alexia,' so he called me 'Lecsha' and it sort of just stuck."

"I like it," Lorelai told her.

"Don't you have a nickname?" Lexa asked.

Lorelai shrugged. "Some people call me Lor."

"Who call you Lor?" Luke asked her.

"Chris."  
  


"Oh."

"My ex," Lorelai explained for Lexa and Leo's benefit.

"Ahhh," they both said.

"We're here!" Leo announced, "the second best part of the festival."  
  


"After the exit," Lexa muttered.

"After the food," Leo corrected. "The games! My personal favourite is the Froot Loop throw. The object is to toss Froot Loops to your partner and they have to catch and eat as many as possible in two minutes."

"This is so bizarre. I love it!" Lorelai declared.

"I don't believe it," Luke muttered, "we've finally found someplace weirder than Stars Hollow."

"I'm guessing you don't want to play, Luke?" Lorelai smirked at him.

"No, I'm dying to jump around like an idiot and eat tiny rings of sugar-coated preservatives." Luke answered sarcastically.

Lexa agreed with Luke's sentiment entirely. "Froot Loops are named after the people who eat them."

"Do you want to be my partner then, Lorelai?" Leo asked.

  
"Well I can't throw, but I am a master eater, so I'll give it a try," Lorelai replied.

"Don't worry, I'm a great catch," Leo winked.

"Dirty!"

"I mean I'm the reigning champ at this game. Lexa and I won last year."

"Oh. Don't you want to team up again to defend your title?" Lorelai asked.

Leo shook his head. "She only agreed to enter last year on the condition that I give up coffee for two weeks."  
  


"And did you?"  
  


"What do you think?" Leo asked with a grin.

"You still owe me for that!" Lexa reminded him.

"Damn, shouldn't have brought it up. Now might be a good time for us to go and sign up." Leo nudged Lorelai and they moved towards the competition area. 

Luke and Lexa sat on bench nearby to watch the action from a safe distance.

Several minutes later, Luke was laughing as a Froot Loop hit Lorelai on the nose.

"Good work!" He yelled out.

Lorelai turned to glare at him with her hands on her hips, "I'm just warming up!" she protested. "Hey!" she yelled as another Froot Loop hit her in the side of the head. "I'm not ready!" she picked one up off the ground and threw it back at Leo.

"Ten seconds until start time," the announcer called, "competitors ready. 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 – GO!"

Cereal flew everywhere.

"They look absolutely ridiculous," Luke commented to Lexa.

"I know!" she agreed, "I still can't believe Leo got me out there last year."  
  


"Crazy people can be very persuasive. Lorelai got me to spend fifty bucks buying a basket she made for this stupid auction our town has every year. Then I had to supply the food for our picnic because everything inside hers was completely inedible."  
  


"A basket auction? Sshh," Lexa warned Luke, "don't give anyone around here ideas. Last thing this town needs is another excuse to go wacko for a week."  
  


"Ten seconds remaining," the announcer shouted, "9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Time's up! If the judges would hand me the results…. Thank you very much. And, once again Leo Grant is the winner, partnered with Lorelai Gilmore. Come and claim your trophy!"  
  


Both grinning, Lorelai and Leo gave each other high-fives and collected their trophy before running over to where Luke and Lexa were sitting.

"We rule! Look, we got a trophy and everything!" Lorelai held it up proudly.

"Congratulations." Luke and Lexa couldn't help smiling at Lorelai's enthusiasm.

"You can keep the trophy," Leo told Lorelai.

"Oh no, this is your thing," she thrust the statue towards him.  
  


"Nah, it's okay, I still have the one from last year. I offered it to Lexa to display in the diner, but for some reason she didn't consider it an achievement to be proud of the way I did. However, in return for my generosity with the trophy you can buy me some coffee," Leo suggested, "there's a stand right over there."  
  


"Mmm, coffee sounds good," Lorelai said. "But I thought you'd reached your quota for today?"  
  


"That's just my quota of the really good stuff from Lexa. I couldn't really survive an entire day with only five cups," Leo replied. "Could you?"  
  


Lorelai was horrified at the thought. "Not if I were conscious."  
 

"What's you record for one day?" Leo asked.

Lorelai looked nervously at Luke, "I better not say."

"Promise I won't tell anyone," Leo prodded.  
  


"Okay," Lorelai stood on tiptoe and whispered in his ear.

"Wow, that is impressive, you've got even me beat." Leo declared.

"And that's really saying something," Lexa confirmed.

"In that case I don't want to know," said Luke.

"Yeah, we wouldn't want you to have a stroke," Lorelai told him.  
  
Leo and Lorelai ran off towards the coffee stand with Luke and Lexa following at a more sedate pace.

"I thought she was the only one in the world like that," Luke commented.

"They make quite a pair," Lexa confirmed, a little jealously. "Lorelai's really got it."  
  


"It?" Luke asked.  
  


"I don't know what 'it' is exactly, but it's just the same with Leo. They smile and hearts just melt." Lexa tried to explain. "But this magical power doesn't work on us," she added quickly.

"Of course not," Luke agreed, "we know them too well."

"We're completely immune," Lexa said. 

"No effect at all," Luke concurred.

They both gazed at Lorelai and Leo standing in the coffee line. Then, realizing they weren't fooling anyone, turned to each other and grinned with embarrassment.

  
Leo watched them talking and smiling. "Luke and Lexa seem to be getting along really well," he remarked to Lorelai. 

"You're jealous, aren't you?" Lorelai asked him after paying for two large coffees.

"No," Leo scoffed, "there's nothing going on between me and Lexa."

"Come on, you can tell me the truth. We've won the Froot Loop contest, we are now connected for life."

Leo chuckled. "Yeah?"   
  


"And because I don't know anyone else here, whatever you say won't be all over town within the hour," Lorelai continued.

"True."  
  


"Plus I may even be able to help you," she added mysteriously.  
  


"Okay, I'll admit it," said Leo. "I'm crazy about Lexa. I have been for years, although it took me a while to realise. But I don't know how I'll ever get her to admit she feels something for me too."

"Boy are you going to be glad you met me," Lorelai smiled at him, "I am the master of sneaky plans."

"Oh really?"

"Really." Lorelai confirmed seriously. "You were jealous watching Lexa laugh with Luke, right?"  
  


"Right," Leo looked their way again.

"So stand a little closer and start laughing."

As they walked back towards Luke and Lexa, Leo slung an arm casually over Lorelai's shoulder, leaned his face towards to hers and laughed.

"She's looking," Lorelai sang under her breath. "Hey," she said as they came to a stop in front of Luke and Lexa, "this is pretty good coffee."

"Lorelai and I are going to drink it by the old church," Leo said. "If that's okay, Lexa?"

Lexa gave him a funny look. "Why wouldn't it be okay?"  
  


"We'll catch up with you later, then." Lorelai waved.

Lexa watched Leo and Lorelai walk off. "Have you ever wanted something for so long that one day can't remember why you wanted it in the first place?" she asked Luke.

"And then they smile, and you can't believe you ever forgot?"  
  


"Exactly." Lexa smiled up at him. "Uh, do you think the two of us are...."

"So alike it's scary?" Luke supplied.

"There you go, reading my mind again." Lexa sighed and stared once more in the direction Leo and Lorelai had disappeared. She shook her head. "I am so pathetic."  
  


Luke placed a hand on her arm. "Hey, don't worry. I think Leo's just using Lorelai to make you jealous."

"You can read his mind too?" Lexa asked.  
  


"No, but I know Lorelai pretty well and she's not the type to take off with a guy she just met. She is, however, the type to pry into the personal lives of people she has just met and come up with some sort of crazy plan to get them together."  
  


"That sounds like Leo's style too. I don't believe him! Why go to all the trouble to make me jealous? Why not just ask me out?" 

Luke shrugged. "Why don't you ask him out?"  
  


"Why don't you ask Lorelai out?" Lexa countered.

"This isn't about me."  
  


"Ooh, don't avoid the question," Lexa prodded.

Just then Lorelai reappeared alone.

"Where's Leo?" Lexa asked.

"He said he wanted to talk to you by the old church," said Lorelai.

Lexa looked surprised, "okay then. I guess I'll see you later."

Lorelai fought back a mischievous grin. "See ya," she said casually to Lexa.

"What's going on?" Luke asked Lorelai.

Lorelai shushed him. "Come on!" They followed Lexa at a discreet distance and hid behind some bushes.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," Luke complained. "I thought if we went up and talked to them we wouldn't have to spy?"

"That was before," Lorelai told him.

"Before what?" Luke asked.

"Before we cared," she responded impatiently. "Sshh, I can't hear what they're saying."

"We're not going to hear anything from here." Luke said.  
  


"Then we'll just have to read body language."  
  


They watched Leo and Lexa talk seriously. Lexa tried to turn away but Leo put a hand on each of her shoulders. He leant in close and said something softly, at which Lexa began to smile. 

"This better work," Lorelai said. "Think of all the years they've wasted, both waiting for the other to make the first move."

Finally Lexa and Leo kissed tentatively as Lorelai and Luke watched unnoticed from a distance.

Lorelai sighed happily and rested her head on Luke's shoulder momentarily. "Well that was a good nights work, Claudio."

"Who?" Luke asked as they turned to leave.  
  


"He and Hero got Beatrice and Benedick together in Much Ado About Nothing, even though everyone thought they'd drive each other crazy." Lorelai explained.  
  


"Still not following."

"It's Shakespeare, you wouldn't understand," she teased him in a haughty voice.

Luke scowled. "Just because you've got a daughter going to an Ivy League college…." he began.

Lorelai slipped her hand into Luke's as they walked away and smiled. "Hey, I'll tell you a secret. I don't really read Shakespeare, I saw the movie."

"You are such a faker!" Luke accused.

"Oh, but it's a great movie. Keanu Reeves and Denzel Washington as brothers? KEANU REEVES doing Shakespeare!?!"

Luke shook his head, "nope, never heard of it."  
  


"You are missing out, my friend! You are so coming to our movie nights when we get home."  
  


Hands still entwined, Luke tugged Lorelai a little closer, "Is that a threat?" he whispered in her ear.

She wiggled her eyebrows at him. "It's a promise, baby!" 

Luke laughed at the line. "You really have seen too many movies, haven't you?"

"Where do you think I get all my brilliant ideas?" she asked.  
  


"Crazy ideas," he muttered.   
  


"This is going to be a happy ending," Lorelai predicted. 

"Yeah, I hope so." Luke smiled at her fondly as they walked back through the town.  
  


*****

TBC


	13. Your mother will find out if you dye you...

*****

YOUR MOTHER WILL FIND OUT IF YOU DYE YOUR HAIR PURPLE 

*****

Late 

*ring ring*

RORY: "Hello?"

LORELAI: "Hey, you're home."

RORY: "Where did you expect me to be?"

LORELAI: "Wrecking havoc at the mall."

RORY: "It closed. And how did you know?"

LORELAI: "I have spies everywhere."

RORY: "You spoke to Grandma?"

LORELAI: "Unfortunately. So what's the story, morning glory?"

RORY: "There is no story. Jess and I went shopping. We ran into Grandma and she was less than impressed at meeting Jess."

LORELAI: "She made it sound like you were re-enacting an Avril Lavigne video clip."

RORY: "She was over-reacting."

LORELAI: "You were with Jess."

RORY: "Yes."

LORELAI: "Anything happening there?"

RORY: "No."

LORELAI: "Very convincing."

RORY: "Anything happening with you and Luke?"

LORELAI: "Nice avoidance."

RORY: "You taught me all I know. I repeat the question."

LORELAI: "Okay, me and Luke. (beat) We had a moment the other night. At least, I think we did. It was nice. You know that feeling? When you're really comfortable with someone. It's not quite romantic, but everything just feels RIGHT. So full of possibility."

RORY: "Yeah. I know that feeling."

LORELAI: "Well we had one of those moments. Then the next morning we went to the diner for breakfast and to say goodbye to Lexa and Leo. They looked so happy together, but things were back to normal with Luke and me. Which isn't bad, it just isn't special. The moment's passed."

RORY: "You'll have another one." 

LORELAI: "You really think so?"

RORY: "Yeah. I know so."

LORELAI: "'Cause these moments, they're not something you can plan or force."

RORY: "Doesn't matter. You'll have more."

LORELAI: "Thanks. (beat) This doesn't mean I'm in love with Luke or anything. Don't get any funky ideas. I'm just saying it was a nice moment."

RORY: "Okay."

LORELAI: "That was very mild."

RORY: "I'm agreeing with you. Just because you enjoy spending time with someone doesn't always mean you want to be with them."

LORELAI: "And sometimes it does. Hey Rory, you'll have more moments too. Unfortunately, they may even be with Jess. And I want you to be able to tell me about them."

RORY: "I will."

LORELAI: "Good. I miss you, babe."

RORY: "I miss you too. But I'm doing fine, so there's no need to worry."

LORELAI: "Well, okay. I'll talk to you again real soon. And don't take any crap from my mother."

RORY: "Alright. Bye mom."

*****

Earlier that evening...

Luke was driving through the desert. The roof was off the jeep and Lorelai was leaning back, gazing at the sky.

"Hey, has Rory told you anything about some sort of bet she and Jess have going?" Luke asked.

Lorelai sat up a little. "No, why?"

"Just something Jess said last time we spoke. Forget I mentioned it, he was probably just being an idiot."

"'Kay," Lorelai returned her attention to the sky. "Look at all those stars! Isn't this great?" she asked Luke.

Luke's eyes remained fixed on the road. "Would you like me to take my hands off the wheel while I look?" he growled.

"Okay, you'll just have to take my word for it. Let me know if you want me to drive," she added.

"I'm fine," Luke assured her.

"Good," Lorelai leant back once more and sighed contentedly. "This is the life. It's so peaceful out here." 

Several minutes later she sat up once more. "We need tunes," she declared. 

"What was that about peaceful?" Luke asked.

He refused to listen to her compilation CD one more time, so Lorelai fiddled with the radio, stopping to sing along, loudly and badly, to the end of 'Wherever you will go' by The Calling. 

"If I could, then I would, I'll go wherever you will go," she yelled into the night. 

"You're listening to K1175Z, all night requests with Lionel the Love King," the announcer informed them as the song came to an end.

"NO! Lorelai turn it off!" Luke instructed.

"Aw, don't you want to hear about people with even more pathetic love lives than us?" 

"That last song went out to Karen. If you're listening, Danny says he still loves you and isn't going to let you leave," the radio host said. 

"Stalker," Lorelai said to the radio, "Run, Karen, Run."

The announcer continued; "Next we have a very special song dedicated to Angela. Tommy wants to know, will you marry him?"

'Don't want to miss a thing' by Aerosmith began playing. 

"Nooo," Luke grumbled, "this has got to be one of the most overplayed songs out there."

"I know! I am so disappointed in Steve Tyler!" Lorelai shook her head sadly. 

"People are just like dumb sheep," Luke continued, "they can't be original, they have to steal songs from movies."

"It could be worse," Lorelai offered, "it could be that Celine Dion song from Titanic." She began singing along again. "Don't wanna close my eyes, don't wanna fall asleep 'cause I miss you baby," she turned to Luke expectantly. "Your line."

"I'm not singing," he flat out refused, "and I would appreciate it if you could restrain yourself as well."

Lorelai pouted. "No fun."

When the song was over the announcer returned sounding implausibly upbeat, "Angela says yes! And she has requested this song for Tommy," 

'How Do I Live' by Trisha Yearwood began playing.

"Ugh, those two deserve each other," Lorelai scoffed. "Two unimaginative losers who've seen too many Jerry Bruckheimer movies."

Luke agreed. "The scary thing is they'll procreate." 

Lorelai shuddered. "Now there's a sobering thought."

"They're probably doing it right now," he added.

"Eew, thanks for that image, Luke."

"What image? You have no idea what they look like," Luke said sensibly.

"If you'd like to request a song, call 555-LOVE now," said the radio announcer when the song ended.

"Quick, where's my phone?" Lorelai grabbed it and began punching in the number.

"No, don't you dare!" Luke warned her.

The cell phone started ringing in her hand. 

"I am telepathically connected to the Love King!" Lorelai proclaimed as she answered the phone.

"Oh, hi Mom."

*****

Even earlier, in Stars Hollow….

"Wanna go to the mall tonight? I need to buy some stuff." Rory asked Jess while eating a late-afternoon snack at the diner.

"Are you asking me out?" Jess leant over the counter towards her and smirked.

Instead of backing away as Jess had expected her to, Rory leant in also and smiled sweetly at him. "Actually, I just needed to find some loser with a car and nothing better to do on a Friday night."

Jess stood back up. "Okay, I got done," he admitted.

Rory grinned in triumph. "So that's a yes?" she confirmed.

"It's a yes, but don't think I'm forgetting that loser comment," he warned.

"Great!" Rory quickly polished off her food. "Let's go."

"I think that was a record, even for you," Jess said as he cleared away her plate. "Just let me grab my keys, wallet and jacket." 

Rory followed him upstairs. "So Caesar's got the diner covered tonight?" she asked. 

"Yeah. You know, it's no wonder Luke has no life," Jess said, "running the diner is hard work. I have a newfound respect for him"

"So you're going to help out more when he gets back?" Rory asked.

"Let's not get carried away." 

Rory held her hand out as they headed back down the stairs, "keys please."

"What?"

"I'm driving. Payback for you wrecking my car."

"I said I was sorry right?" Jess asked seriously, coming to a stop.

"It's okay, Jess, I was only kidding. Not about wanting to drive, but about the payback bit."

"Still. I mean it." Jess rested a hand on Rory's shoulder.

She squeezed his arm. "I know." 

"Good. Now, enough with the touchy-feely stuff, let's go."

*****

"So, first stop - book or record store?" Jess asked when they arrived at the mall in Hartford.

"If we start in the book store I may never make it anywhere else," Rory warned.

"So do what you need to do first." Jess said. "What is it that you need?"

"Girl stuff." Rory said, directing him to a large department store. She checked the directory, "level 3. Okay, this shouldn't take too long. I'll meet you back here in 20 minutes." 

"I'm not coming?"

"I said I was only using you for the car, remember?"

"I'm hurt!" Jess called as Rory hopped on the elevator, leaving him in the perfume section.

Rory was underwear shopping. Not something she wanted Jess to witness. Underwear seemed to have a limited life span in the Gilmore household. Rory frequently mentioned to her mom that it might have something to do with her throwing all the laundry in the machine together on a rough cycle. Lorelai insisted it was the black hole under the centre of the house that devoured one of each pair of most of the shoes, socks and earrings she owned, as well as all the pens in the house and her keys on a weekly basis. Rory had suggested they fight back against the black hole, but Lorelai loved an excuse to shop for new things. 

In the lingerie section, Rory quickly selected the usual basics to wear under her school uniform. She had never really been into lacy underwear the way her mom was, reasoning that there was no point as she was the only one who saw it and she could buy two cute shirts for the cost of one fancy bra. But now, for some reason, Rory slowed down to browse through other stuff and selected a couple of pretty, girly sets. Nothing to do with Jess, of course, she told herself. She just wanted to feel a bit... special.

After paying for her purchases, Rory went back downstairs to find Jess trying on cologne with the help of a very attentive saleswoman.

He waved her over. "I need your opinion, Rory, I've got it narrowed down to three," he told her, "what do you think? Left hand, right hand or neck?'

Rory sniffed each arm then pulled the collar of Jess' shirt out a little to sniff his neck.

"This one. Definitely," she declared, "what is it?"

"Armani white," the sales woman told her, "would you like to smell the woman's version?" 

"Sure," Rory held out her wrist.

"That's pretty nice," she waved her arm under Jess' nose.

"Yeah," he agreed. It suited Rory. 

"I can give you a special deal on both if you want to buy that for your girlfriend as well," the saleswoman told Jess. 

Neither of them bothered to correct her assumption that they were dating. 

"You want it?" Jess asked Rory.

"Yeah, sounds like a good deal," Rory reached for her purse.

"I've got it," Jess said, pulling out his wallet.

"No you don't," Rory began to refuse.

"Would you let me buy you something?" Jess handed his bankcard to the sales woman, "put it all on this," he said.

"I will buy you something in return," Rory insisted as Jess took the bag and receipt.

"Whatever," he replied.

"Thanks Jess," Rory said, leaning her head against his shoulder as they walked out of the store.

"You're always very welcome," Jess put his arm around her shoulder for a brief, semi-hug. 

Rory leant in to smell his neck again, "I think I like yours more than mine. Can I sniff you neck all night?"

"Knock yourself out." 

"Rory!" A familiar voice rang out.

Rory sheepishly pulled away from Jess, "hi Grandma."

"Hello Rory. Are you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"This is Jess Mariano. Jess, this is my grandmother, Emily Gilmore."

Emily looked Jess up and down disapprovingly.

"Nice shirt," she finally commented coldly.

Jess looked down at his 'FCUK FASHION' shirt.

"It stands for French Connection United Kingdom," Rory explained.

"I'm sure it does," Emily replied doubtfully.

"Uh, it's good to see you, Grandma. I've missed our dinners." 

Rory had been excused from Friday night dinner while Lorelai was away because she didn't have a car.

Emily's expression softened slightly, "so have I."

"I could drive you to dinner one night," Jess offered.

Emily gave him a death stare.

"Or I could just stay out of it all together." Jess backed off.

"Well we don't want to see Rory in a cast again," Emily said snidely. 

"Grandma-" Rory began.

But Emily excused herself, "I have to go. Rory, you're welcome to stay with your Grandfather and I until Lorelai gets back. I want to make sure you are taken care of."

"I'm fine." Rory was sick of trying to convince everyone of that simple fact.

Emily didn't argue, but didn't look satisfied either. "Goodbye, Rory," she said.

"Goodbye Grandma."

"Goodbye Mrs Gilmore." Jess dared to speak up again, but Emily left without responding to his effort at politeness.

"Well that was fun," Rory sighed.

"I'm sorry," said Jess, "I should have stayed in character and kept my mouth shut."

"No I'm sorry. You were trying to be nice. She was rude." Rory didn't understand how Emily could complain about Jess' attitude when she acted no better herself. At least Jess had made an effort. That surprised Rory.

Jess put his arm around her shoulder again and squeezed her against him, "don't worry about it." 

"Why are you being so good?" Rory asked him.

"I'm trying to get you into bed," Jess joked.

Rory cracked a smile before ducking out from under Jess' arm and fixing him with a withering stare

"Made you smile," he pointed out. "Hey, that thing with your Grandmother will blow over."

Rory knew he was right. "Thanks," she said.

"So what did you buy?" Jess tried to peek in Rory's bag and caught sight of satin and lace before she pulled it away.

"Jess!'

"Alright, fine. I'll let you model it for me later." He winked.

"In your dreams Mariano!"

"Oh you're such a tease! So. Book store?"

"Lead the way."

*****

TBC. 

Next time: Rory and Jess make with the smoochies. Will Lorelai kill Jess if he gets to see her daughter's new underwear? Will Luke kill Lorelai if she starts singing again? Stay tuned.


	14. A friend is someone who knows you but lo...

*****

A FRIEND IS SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU BUT LOVES YOU ANYWAY

*****

*ring ring*

RORY: "Hello?"

LORELAI: "Hey Honey, Guess what? We reached the Grand Canyon!"  
  


RORY: "See the point of that question is to actually let the other person guess before you answer."

LORELAI: "Oh, you didn't really want to guess. You always complain when I make you guess."

RORY: "True. So how was the Grand Canyon?"

LORELAI: "It was big!"

RORY: "That's it? That's all the description I get?"  
  


LORELAI: "I sent you a postcard."

RORY: "Cool! So does that mean you're coming home now?"

LORELAI: "No, not straight away. I hope you don't mind, but I decided I really wanted to visit the Pacific Ocean and managed to convince Luke that since we were so close now… "

RORY: "You managed to convince Luke?"

LORELAI: "It wasn't that hard. I told you he's secretly having a good time."

RORY: "I can't believe you guys will have driven across the entire country."

LORELAI: "Pretty cool, huh?"

RORY: "Very."

LORELAI: "Although I think we'll be ready to abandon the jeep and fly home once we finally come to the end of the line. So at the risk of sounding repetitive, are you still all right by yourself? Because you could always stay with any number of people in town. Or with my parents. Hahaha."

RORY: "I'm fine, really. Occasionally the house seems a little quiet. But it's a welcome change."

LORELAI: "I am not that noisy!"

RORY: "You are so. Besides, I have Jess to fill in the lonely nights."

LORELAI: "Oh that sounds so wrong! I was _this close_ to having a heart attack."

RORY: "I didn't mean it like that! It's just that I can help him out at the diner and stuff so by the time I get home I just fall into bed. Alone."

LORELAI: "Can you install a video camera above your bed just to reassure me?"

RORY: "Then we'd just do it at his place."

LORELAI: "You're not really sleeping with Jess are you?"  
  


RORY: "No. We're not even together. But I do have kind of a confession to make. Remember the other night when we ran into Grandma at the mall? I went lingerie shopping."

LORELAI: "With Jess!?!?"

RORY: "No, not with Jess! But I bought some stuff that looks like it would be more at home in your closet than mine."

LORELAI: "Naughty!"

RORY: "No it's not! There's nothing wrong with wanting nice underwear is there?"

LORELAI: "Not unless you want someone to see it. Then both you and the offending underwear should be locked in separate rooms until you're at least 25."

RORY: "But I had no ulterior motive."

LORELAI: "In that case, cool, is it pretty?"

RORY: "It's very pretty."

LORELAI: "Does it have leopard print?"

RORY: "No!"

LORELAI: "Snakeskin print?"

RORY: "Eew, no. Mom, I haven't become a hooker!"

LORELAI: "What about a stripper? Porn Star? Any leather?"  
  


RORY: "You know we really shouldn't have these conversations. I'm hanging up now. I'm going to the diner."

LORELAI: "Are you wearing your new underwear? Did you buy Jess a furry G-string too?"

RORY: "Are you in a public place?"

LORELAI: "I'm in the car."

RORY: "Is Luke listening to your side of this conversation?"

LORELAI: "Nah he went to pay for gas and I gave him a long list of snacks to pick up while he's there to keep him busy."  
  


RORY: "You do know you're not supposed to use cell phones at gas stations, right?"

LORELAI: "Nothing's blown up yet."

RORY: "Well hang up before something does."

LORELAI: "Okay, Luke's back anyway. Bye Rory."

RORY: "Bye."

*****

"Hey, where's the coffee?" Lorelai demanded when Luke got back to the car with her junk food.

"Their machine was broken," Luke explained.

"What? I don't accept that!" Lorelai cried.

"You hate the coffee they have at gas stations anyway," Luke reminded her.

"Need Coffee!" Lorelai pouted. "Even crappy coffee's better than no coffee."

"I got you some coffee flavoured icecream," Luke passed her the tub.

Lorelai's eyes shone "I love you!" 

She said stuff like that all the time, and he knew it didn't mean anything, yet Luke could feel a warm blush creeping over his face at the words. So he quickly busied himself in stowing the rest of the food in the back of the car before setting off again.

"Why are we friends?" Lorelai asked out of the blue with a mouth full of icecream.  
  


"Uh oh, here we go again." Luke muttered softly.

"I mean, I obviously drive you nuts. What are you a masochist or something?"

"You make life interesting," Luke told her.

"I knew it!" Lorelai gloated. "But it's always nice to be appreciated. So thanks for saying it."

"Thanks for being it."

Luke's attention returned to the road ahead and Lorelai's to her icecream.

Several minutes later she spoke up again. "Hey Luke? I like having you around too. It should be obvious, from the last however-many days we've spent together, but I wanted to make sure you knew."

"I know."  
  


"You're a really good friend," Lorelai added.

"Thanks." Luke replied simply. 

They lapsed into a comfortable silence until Lorelai spoke up again a minute later.

"Hey Luke?" 

"Yes Lorelai?"  
  


"Want some icecream?" she asked with a smile.

"No thank you."  
  


"It's really good," she prompted.

"Okay. Just a little taste."

"Really?" Lorelai was surprised. "You do know this is icecream, right? Not no-fat, no-dairy frozen yoghurt. This is REAL icecream."  
  


"I know. Occasionally, I like icecream," Luke said.  
  


"Really?" Lorelai repeated.  
  


"Yes!" Luke was getting impatient.

"Okay, I was just checking. Open up for the airplane!" Lorelai flew her spoon towards Luke's mouth.

He attempted to give her a withering glare without taking his eyes off the road. "I can feed myself."

"Not while you're driving." Lorelai reminded Luke that he was a stickler for road safety.  
  


He relented and allowed her to feed him a spoonful of icecream.

Lorelai was thrilled. "I haven't done this since Rory was a baby!"

"That disturbs me. But the icecream is good." 

"Want some more?" she offered. 

Luke accepted, however this time Lorelai's over-enthusiastic airplane-spoon didn't make it into his mouth but hit the side of his cheek.

"Oops!" Lorelai winced sheepishly. "Want me to lick it off?" she suggested jokingly.  
  


"To quote you, 'dirty," Luke said. "And no. Pass me a kleenex."

Lorelai obliged and Luke wiped his face. "No more," he said.

Lorelai shrugged, "okay, more for me. But this was a nice moment."

"You throwing food at me makes for a nice moment?" Luke asked.  
  


"I mean our declaration of friendship. Before I brought up icecream. I predict many satisfying conversations in our future." Lorelai was encouraged.

"So you're a psychic now?" asked Luke.  
  


Lorelai winked. "Sure. Psychic, psycho… whatever turns you on." 

*****

Later in Stars Hollow....

"You don't have to work here on a Saturday night," Jess told Rory as she helped to clear tables in the diner after it closed. "It's not like you're getting paid or anything."  
  


"I don't mind," she insisted. "I already did all my homework this morning. It's so much easier without mom interrupting me every 10 minutes. And you can pay me in food."

"Don't we already give you free food?" asked Jess.

"Mostly," Rory admitted, "but I'm always open to the prospect of more."

"So can I ask you something?" Jess asked. He was now sweeping the floor while Rory wiped the tables.  
  


"Sure." Rory replied. "Eew, someone put gum under this table!"

Jess' eyes narrowed. "Kirk!" he hissed, "I've already warned him about that."  
  


"What do you want me to do?" Rory asked.

"Just leave it there and I'll make sure he sits in the same place next time he comes in."

"That will not be a pretty sight."  
  


Jess shrugged unapologetically. "The guy's got to learn somehow."  
  


"You'll make a great daddy. Or headmaster." Rory laughed. "I'm sorry, what did you want to ask me?"

"Oh, right. You and Dean. Is that over for good?"  
  


Rory stopped wiping. "I don't know. To be honest, I haven't been giving it much thought. I don't think we're going to get back together, but hopefully we can be friends. I like things the way they are now. With everything going on at school - Paris, student council, the paper. Then everything in Stars Hollow - Mom, Lane, you.... I don't need a boyfriend."

"You don't want another relationship?" Jess asked.  
  


"Not straight away."  
  


Jess responded nonchalantly. "Hmm."  
  


But then he stopped sweeping and stood in the middle of the diner, broom still in hand. "Not everything can happen exactly on schedule when you want it, you know," he told Rory.

She stood facing him. "What's your point?"  
  


"Sometimes things just happen when you're not ready for them. But you can't put life on hold." Jess was getting himself worked up.

"My life is not on hold!" Rory replied defensively.

"Which is why you're here on a Saturday night?"  
  


They were now arguing rather loudly.

"I like spending time with you. Although at times like these I'm not really sure why. But Jess, I consider you a good friend! Is that so hard to believe?" Rory yelled.

"No, I feel the same way." Jess yelled back.  
  


"Then what is your problem?"   
  


"I don't have a problem!"  
  


"Then what is this about?"  
  


"It's…. it's about nothing okay, just forget it." Jess turned around but felt her hand grab his arm.

"Don't walk away!" Rory commanded. "You don't just start a fight out of no where and then try to leave without explaining why."

Jess spun around to face her. "Well I don't know why." 

"Well…" Rory had run out of words so she kissed him instead. Hard on the lips. It was so unexpected that Jess took a moment to respond. The broom fell to the floor as he started kissing her back. But then Rory pulled away. 

"Oh my God! I am so sorry!" she slapped her hand across her mouth.

"I'm not," Jess said.

"I have to go!" Offering no other explanation, Rory turned and ran out of the diner. 

"Rory…" Jess began.

"Goodnight!" she called.

Jess didn't follow her. 

"Deja vu," he muttered to himself and resumed sweeping the floor.

*****


	15. Do one thing every day that scares you

*****

DO ONE THING EVERY DAY THAT SCARES YOU

*****

*ring ring*

LORELAI: "Hello?"

JESS: "Hey Lorelai, can I talk to Luke?"

LORELAI: "Jess? What's going on? Has something happened to Rory?"

JESS: "No. She's fine. I just want to talk to Luke."

LORELAI: "Wow, I did hear you right. You WANT to talk to Luke?"

JESS: "Yes!"

LORELAI: "About what?"

JESS: "None of your damn business. Jeez, if I'd known I was gonna get the third degree..."

LORELAI: "Touchy! Okay, sorry. Luke's just in the bathroom."

JESS: "Do you want me to call back?"

LORELAI: "He'll only be a minute."

JESS: "Okay, I'll wait."

LORELAI: "Sure. Erm, so how are things?"

JESS: "Fine."

LORELAI: "Good."

JESS: "Yep."

LORELAI: "Hmm."

JESS: "So are you and Luke doing it?"

LORELAI: "WHAT?"

JESS: "Couldn't think of a smooth way to casually bring it up in conversation. (beat) So are you?"

LORELAI: "NO!"

JESS: "Just asking."

LORELAI: "Well don't. Here's Luke."

LUKE: "What do you want?"

JESS: "Hi, nice to hear from you too."

LUKE: "Jess, you haven't called the entire time we've been away. On the few occasions I have called you, you've just answered yes or no to every question I ask."

JESS: "Yeah, well I want to talk to you now."

LUKE: "Are you in some kind of trouble?"

JESS: "No, I just don't have anyone else to talk to about this."

LUKE: "Okay, what is it?"

JESS: "Is Lorelai still there with you?"

LUKE: "Yes."

JESS: "Well can we talk in private?"

LUKE: "Fine. I'll go outside.... Go ahead."

JESS: "It's about Rory."

LUKE: "What have you done?"

JESS: "I haven't done anything. She kissed me. Then she ran away. Again."

LUKE: "This has happened before?"

JESS: "At Sookie's wedding, right after I came back."

LUKE: "I don't believe it."

JESS: "Yeah, I couldn't believe she kissed me either."

LUKE: "No, I don't believe YOU are coming to ME for advice about a girl."

JESS: "Well you've known Rory for a long time."

LUKE: "Practically her whole life."

JESS: "So would you hate to see us together? I'm probably not good enough for her."

LUKE: "Of course you're not, that's glaringly obvious. But for some reason she seems to like you. And if she actually wants to be with you then you're a fool to do anything to screw it up. She's a very special girl."

JESS: "I know Rory's special, but I don't know if she wants to be with me."

LUKE: "Then why don't you just ask her?"

JESS: "Why don't you ask Lorelai if she wants to be with you?"

LUKE: "Don't be smart, you're the one who called me for help, remember."

JESS: "I'm just saying that it's even harder to ask a Gilmore girl how they feel because you can't get a word in edgeways."

LUKE: "No excuse. You want my advice?"

JESS: "Those who can't do, teach, right?"

LUKE: "My advice is to go for it. It'd be good for you. But if you hurt her I'll be the first to kick your ass." 

JESS: "She just walked in, I gotta go."

LUKE: "Sure."

JESS: "Luke? Thanks."

LUKE: "Bye Jess."

*****

Luke went back inside, slightly dazed after his conversation with Jess and handed Lorelai's cell phone back to her.

"All of a sudden everyone is thanking me," he said.

"Did you have a nice father-son bonding moment?" she asked.

"Don't mock. It was good." Luke sat down on the corner of a bed.

"What did he want to talk about that I wasn't supposed to hear?" Lorelai had been lying on her back and now rolled over onto her stomach to face Luke as they talked.

Luke gave her a look.

"Yeah, okay, I realise that was a stupid question," she admitted. "But I promise I won't tell him you told me."

"Nope."

"You don't trust me with a secret?" Lorelai pouted.

"This shouldn't surprise you," Luke responded dryly.

"Hey I swear I didn't tell anyone about the trekkie thing! It's a small town, someone must have overheard me laughing about it with Sookie."

"So you told Sookie."

"Did I say Sookie? I meant Rory," Lorelai quickly tried to cover. "But people knew anyway," she pointed out.

"You didn't have to remind them."

"Okay, I apologize, but that was just fun. I CAN keep a real secret," she told Luke.

He shook his head. "I'm not saying anything."  


"Just a clue?" Lorelai begged. "Is it anything illegal?"

"No."

"Does it involve Rory?" she asked.

"Maybe."

Lorelai sat up. "If it involves my daughter I have a right to know."

"How do you figure that?" asked Luke.

"Mother's prerogative."

"If I thought something bad was going to happen to Rory I'd do something about it. Trust me."

Lorelai picked up a pillow and waved it at Luke menacingly. "Tell me what's going on! I can't stand you knowing gossip when I don't."

Luke still refused. "Jess' life is not THAT interesting."

"I'm not afraid to use this," Lorelai warned.

Luke grabbed a pillow of his own. "Try it," he dared her.

Lorelai whacked him with the pillow and an all out pillow-fight quickly developed.

Several minutes later, Lorelai was lying on her back with Luke next to her on his stomach. Their heads were facing each other and Luke's arm was wrapped around Lorelai's middle.

Lorelai wasn't saying anything; probably exhausted from the mild physical activity she so seldom took part in. Luke thought about what Jess had said. This was his chance to get a word in edgeways, he realised. But what would he say? Tell her what he was thinking – that he really wanted to kiss her right now. Luke opened his mouth to speak, but at the last minute chickened out. Maybe next time.

"Well that's one way to get you to stop bugging me," he said. 

Lorelai sat up and grabbed her pillow again. "Round two!"

*****

Meanwhile...

"Hey," Jess said after hanging up the phone. The greeting sounded nonchalant, just as he intended it to, but Jess felt his pulse quicken as Rory approached the counter.

"Hey. We need to talk," Rory said seriously.

"Agreed." Jess looked around. The diner was empty, the last customers having left as she arrived. "Uh, do you want a coffee?" he asked.

Rory shook her head determinedly and jumped right in. "About last night. About what happened... I thought we were getting on well as friends, and then... you know. I mean, we don't just fight and then kiss. We are not Buffy and Spike. So what was that?"

"I was going to ask you the same thing."

"You started the fight," Rory pointed out.

"You started the kiss," Jess countered.

"I know. But I don't know why." Rory paused. "Maybe we should just try and forget about it," she suggested. "Put it down to something strange in the cheeseburgers and pretend last night never happened."

Jess exhaled loudly. "You want to forget it? I'm really getting sick of this, Rory. I don't think it's fair. You know where I stand, so just give me a call when you've figured out what you want. Provided we don't die of old age before then!" Jess grabbed his jacket and stalked out of the diner. "Lock up behind you," he yelled as he left.

Rory waited a minute for them both to calm down before going after him, locking the diner door behind her. 

Rory found Jess exactly where she expected to, sitting on the old bridge. His legs were hanging over the side and he gazed into the still water. He looked up calmly as she approached.

"Jess, I-" Rory began. 

"I know," he said softly.

"I'm sorry." Rory sat down beside him.

"Yeah." Jess looked back at the water.

"Friends?" Rory asked hopefully.

"Always," Jess assured her.

Rory too looked down at her feet, dangling just above the water.

Jess glanced over to her again. "Come here," he said, holding his arms out for a hug.

Rory scooted over and curled up against his chest. She breathed his scent in deeply.

"Aw, what the heck?" Rory reached up and pulled Jess' head to hers and kissed him. He kissed her back and this time Rory didn't pull away until they were both ready.

"Friends?" Jess smirked at her, after they breathlessly broke apart.

"It must be that new cologne," Rory tried to defend her lack of self-control.

"You want me." Jess couldn't stop smiling.

"No." Rory very unconvincingly shook her head.

"You want me," Jess repeated, "just admit it. You can't live without me."

Rory slapped his shoulder.

"You can't keep your hands off me," Jess continued to tease.

Rory bit her lower lip to keep from smiling. "You're pretty cocky aren't you?"

"With good reason, apparently!" Jess replied.

After they finished joking around, Rory lay back against Jess with his arms around her.

"Seriously?" she asked him.

"Okay, seriously."

"I'm scared." Rory admitted.

"I'm not that scary."

"Not of you," Rory scoffed dismissively and then laughed at his injured look.

"Oh, okay, you're tough and scary," she said.

"Thank you. Continue."

"I'm scared of you and me together. There. What about you?" she turned to look at him.

"Honestly?" Jess asked.

"Yes please."

"Sometimes I'm scared too," he confessed. "I'm scared that I'm not good enough for you and that someone's going to get hurt."

"I know you wouldn't hurt me."

"Not on purpose. But you might realise what a mistake you're making and go and break my heart."

"Break your heart? Did you miss the part where I said you were tough?"

"Okay, maybe I'm not that tough when it comes to you. So what do you think?" Jess asked.

Jess looked vulnerable, a side of him Rory hadn't seen before. She thought it was adorable and she kissed him sweetly. "That's what I think."

He kissed her in return. "I like the way you think!" 

*****

TBC.

AN: This story was originally supposed to focus on Luke and Lorelai and it will do so again now that Jess and Rory have some resolution, mostly because I find it easier to write L/L. Plus there are not nearly enough decent javajunkie fics, but this site is inundated with literatis. 

There are probably around 5 more chapters of this to go, I'm not exactly sure.... Keep R/R-ing!


	16. The best proof of love is trust

*****

THE BEST PROOF OF LOVE IS TRUST

*****

*ring ring*

LORELAI: "Hello?"  
  


RORY: "Hi Mom."

LORELAI: "Oh my god, you kissed Jess!"

RORY: "What? All I said was 'hi mom' how could you possibly know?"  
  


LORELAI: "I didn't, it was just a guess, but boy did that pan out. Watch out Vegas!"

RORY: "You're in Vegas?"  
  


LORELAI: "Yeah, but that's not important. So were you calling to tell me about Jess?"

RORY: "Well I don't appear to have much choice now. We had an argument then literally kissed and made up."

LORELAI: "What was the argument about?"  
  


RORY: "About how last night we had an argument then kissed."

LOREALI: "And was that argument about how the night before that you had an argument and then kissed? Cos this could get to be a really long story."

RORY: "That's it. There is no story."  
  


LORELAI: "Ah, but I think there is and you're just not telling me! You can't see, but I'm pouting right now."  
  


RORY: "I did tell you what happened."

LORELAI: "But you neglected to mention any details."

RORY: "I don't really want to talk about it."  
  


LORELAI: "That bad, huh?"  
  


RORY: "No, it's good. I just don't know what to tell. Uh, We're together now."

LORELAI: "Um, congratulations?"

RORY: "You don't have to sound so enthusiastic."  
  


LORELAI: "Rory, if this is what you want, I'm happy for you, hon."

RORY: "Thanks. Because I am happy. We just finally admitted what we want. You should try it."

LORELAI: "Okay, I want a pair of Sass&Bide jeans, and Kylie Minogue's ass to go with them, The Vines CD, world peace, this funky necklace I saw a chick wearing the other day, and I want Bono to marry me and we can live in a castle, and I want..."

RORY: "Okay, okay, stop. I'll tell the Genie next time I see him. And we have The Vines CD."

LORELAI: "Your boyfriend stole it."

RORY: "Oh, that's right, I lent it to Jess. Don't worry, I'll have it back by the time you get home. So have you slept with Luke?"

LORELAI: "Gee, abrupt much? Where did that come from?"

RORY: "It seemed as good a place as any to suavely slot it into conversation."  
  


LORELAI: "Wow you have been spending too much time with Jess. Well the answer is no, I am not having sex with Luke. Hehe. He just gave me a funny look.... You're so cute when you're embarrassed!"

RORY: "Mom!?"

LORELAI: "Sorry, that was just too good a teasing opportunity to pass up."

RORY: "Well, I'm gonna go now, I just wanted to check in with you."

LORELAI: "Okay, thanks hon."

RORY: "Have fun in Vegas. Win us enough to live in Europe for a year."

LORELAI: "I'll try."

RORY: "Bye."

*****

Earlier...

Luke and Lorelai reached Las Vegas just after three in the afternoon and Lorelai insisted they stop there for the night.

"We could get a few more hours driving in," Luke argued.

"And end up where? The middle of the desert?" Lorelai countered.

She even convinced him to stay in one of the huge casinos.

"Come on, it's my turn to spring for the room. We're in Vegas, we might as well enjoy the experience!" she declared, throwing the keys of the filthy jeep to the valet and dragging Luke inside to the check in counter.  
  


The immaculately groomed clerk at the reception desk looked at their crumpled clothes from a day of driving with mild distaste, but politely checked the computer to find them a room for the night. 

"One of our honeymoon suites is available," he informed them. "It's very romantic."

Luke and Lorelai exchanged looks.

"Uh, I don't think so."

"We were looking for separate beds, actually."

"Oh, certainly," the clerk turned back to the computer.

"It's that look again," Lorelai whispered to Luke.

"What look?" Luke asked.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed. The look that says what's wrong with that guy? Travelling with such a gorgeous woman and he's not getting any."

Luke narrowed his eyes at her. "We should pretend you're my sister."

The clerk spoke up again, "I have a deluxe suite, two double bedrooms with a four person hot tub."

Lorelai flashed him a smile. "Sounds great."

"Sounds expensive," said Luke.

Lorelai handed the man her credit card.

"Just sign in here," the clerk handed them registration forms. 

"Here," Lorelai handed hers back quickly.

The clerk glanced at it. "Full name please."

"Lorelai Gilmore. That's my full name."

"That's not what it says on your credit card," he prompted.

"Fine, Lorelai Victoria Gilmore." Lorelai rolled her eyes as she amended the form.

She handed the pen to Luke.

"Full name right?" he said.

"Oooh," Lorelai peered over his shoulder, "what's your middle name?"

"Scott," he told her.

"Damn, I was hoping for something like Archibald or Ferdinand. Or Skywalker." She thought for a moment, "hey your initials are LSD!"

Luke groaned. Trust Lorelai to spot something like that. "Yes, I'm sure that's what my parent's had in mind when they named me!" He turned the tables on her, "what about you, VICTORIA, what, were you named after a Queen or something?"  
  


"Probably, knowing my mother. Although I always knew I belonged to royalty."

"Generations of inbreeding explains so much," Luke muttered.

"Sixteenth floor." The clerk handed them the keys.

"After you, your majesty," Luke teased Lorelai.

"Hey if you're gonna be like that you have to go all the way and start bowing," she warned him.

**

"Oh wow!" Lorelai exclaimed when they entered their suite, "check out the view!" One wall of the main room was made almost entirely of glass, with a large spa bath situated just in front it to take advantage of the views. "I'm gonna like it here!" Lorelai grabbed the hotel directory and began browsing through the list of facilities until her cell phone started ringing. 

"Hello?"  
  


"Oh my god, you kissed Jess!"

Luke gave her a strange look but there was a knock on the door just then so he went to let the porter in with their bags.

**

"Well that was a weird conversation," Luke commented when Lorelai had finished her phone call.

"Rory and Jess got together! Is this what he was talking to you about last night?"  
  


"Yeah," Luke admitted, "are you okay with everything."  
  


"I think I will be. I'm still kind of digesting it. Rory kind of brushed over that part and started sneakily attempting to hint that I should admit I want you. Then when I didn't bite she went for the direct approach," Lorelai began blabbing.

"Okay your conversation with Rory was not nearly as uncomfortable as this one," Luke said.

"Don't worry, it's over. Go get changed, we're going swimming," Lorelai grabbed her bags and headed into one of the bedrooms, leaving Luke to ponder how she could just breeze through two fairly substantial topics on to something as banal as going swimming.

He went into the other bedroom with his mind in overdrive. Lorelai had said _'admit' she wanted him. Did that mean she secretly did want him? Or was she just using Rory's words? _

"Stop thinking," he warned himself.

"Luke? Are you talking to yourself?" Lorelai called. "Hurry up and get out here!"

"Coming," he called back obligingly.

**

The large indoor swimming pool was made to look like tropical beach and surprisingly it wasn't very busy late in the afternoon so they easily found two spare pool lounges to put their stuff on.

Lorelai dropped the robe she was wearing over her new bikini and Luke pulled off her shirt. They couldn't help checking each other out and obviously liked what they saw.

Lorelai grinned. "You look good," she told Luke.

"Oh yeah?" Luke raised his eyebrows and smiled back at her. "Well you look good too."

"I know." Lorelai replied cockily.

Luke pushed her into the pool and then dived in after her.

Lorelai burst to the surface and swam towards him. "You are in so much trouble!" 

"What are you going to do?" Luke splashed her playfully.

Lorelai splashed him back and a water fight ensued until Lorelai spotted a waterslide at the other end of the pool.

She swam up behind Luke, clung onto his back and pointed towards the waterslide. "Take me," she said.

"Very big 'naughty.'"

"Take me over there, to the waterslide. You really have been spending too much time with me, I didn't know a dirty mind was contagious!"  
  


'Too much time with Lorelai? No such thing,' Luke thought as he paddled them both toward the slide. It was pretty amazing that they'd been together 24/7 and could still enjoy each other's company.  

All throughout their frolic in the pool, Luke and Lorelai made excuses to touch each other. It felt like they were in a relationship and Lorelai loved the feeling; Luke's hand on her back as they climbed the stairs to the waterslide, her hand on his arm when she talked animatedly, their bodies constantly brushing against each other as they swam around. 

When she was finally sick of swimming, Lorelai hopped out of the pool to check out the spa around the corner.

"There's another couple in there already, I don't want to disturb them," she told Luke, after diving back into the pool and joining him sitting under a waterfall.

_'Another' _couple, Luke thought. Did that mean she considered them to be a couple also? Okay, this analyzing every word Lorelai said had to stop; Luke had missed her next sentence.

"What did you say?" he asked.

She gave him a funny look. "I said I'm going to use the spa in our suite."

"Okay, I'll let you do that while I go for a walk around." Luke needed to clear his head.

"Sure. See you in a little while."  
  


**

When Luke returned to the room, Lorelai was relaxing in the spa bath.

"Sorry, they wouldn't let me go anywhere dressed like this," Luke said of his shorts, t-shirt and bare feet. "I'll ah, just go through to my room."

"You don't have to do that, Luke," Lorelai twisted her head to face him, "this is heavenly, you should try it."

"I'm not really a bubble bath kinda guy."

"This is more than a bubble bath. You have to try it, come on in," she encouraged.

"But you're, um, naked." Luke looked at Lorelai's bikini, lying over a chair to dry.

Only her head and neck were visible above the thick layer of bubbles. "Everyone at the pool saw more of me than this," she pointed out.

"You want me to get in there with you?" Luke checked. He noticed a half-empty bottle of champagne sitting on the floor and realised it had probably contributed to her uninhibited state.

"I insist. Come. Have some champagne, it's free. I trust you not to take indecent advantage of me."

"Yeah, but I don't know if I can trust you," Luke joked. He pulled off his shirt and slid into the other side of the tub, secretly glad that Lorelai felt comfortable with him joining her like this.

"You're still wearing your shorts," Lorelai pointed out. "That's not fair."  
  


"Well I'm not taking them off."

"You're missing the full experience."

"I am not. You're right, it's very relaxing."

"I bet you're the type who's never been skinny dipping," Lorelai said knowingly.

"So?"

"You, my prudish friend are denying yourself a fabulous sensation," Lorelai flicked some bubbles at him.

"I'll accept that."

They sat in comfortable silence, sipping champagne and enjoying the view. 

Luke felt as though they were in a soap opera. Or on a honeymoon. It was surreal, but not unpleasant.

Lorelai was _this close_ to making a move. She was willing to bet that Luke could feel something different was going on between them as well. It was another moment, a long one, lasting the entire time they were in the swimming pool until now. But Lorelai didn't want to make things awkward between them. Not while there was nowhere to hide.

"I'm going pruney," she complained, "close your eyes while I get out."

Luke complied and even behaved himself by resisting the temptation to peek. 

His eyes were still closed when Lorelai complained; "Seven bucks for a packet of peanuts!?" Luke opened his eyes to see her, wearing her robe again, rummaging through the mini bar.

"Room service?" she asked Luke.

He agreed. "As long as it doesn't include animal fat."  
  


Lorelai pouted "You're no fun!" she lied. "Hey is there any champagne left?"  
  


"Nope. You drank it all. You're going to swell up like a big bubble."  
  


"I did not drink it all! But it doesn't matter, I love this stuff, it's so cute!" she pulled out the tiny bottles of incredibly over-priced alcohol from the mini bar.

"Those aren't free," Luke pointed out.

"No, but they're worth it." 

*****

I know that's a weird place to leave it, but I gotta go get an education… TBC -  Real soon cos I like the next chapter, it writes itself. Luke and Lorelai get drunk and fall into bed. True! I wouldn't lie to you… …And now I've got "Would I lie to you baby, would I lie?" In my head. Augh. I have no idea where that song's from but I think it's best I don't remember…. And at least it got rid of the hillbilly version of 'Highway to Hell' that's been stuck in my head since I heard it on the radio on the way home yesterday afternoon.


	17. Alcohol is a misunderstood vitamin

*****

ALCOHOL IS A MISUNDERSTOOD VITAMIN

*****

*ring ring*

"Hi you've reached casa de Gilmore. We're not home right now so it'd be a great time to break in, but unless you're interested in 65 pairs of shoes and 197 books I wouldn't bother. Just leave a message instead!" 

"Hi honey, we're in Vegas! Hee hee. It's uh; I have no idea what time it is! But the martinis are really good here! Sorry, I haven't won any money, but feel free to mention to your grandmother that we visited a wedding chapel AND a tattoo parlour here, but be sure to tape her reaction for me. Miss ya! Love ya! Wish you could try out the AMAZING spa in our room! Oh, do they have potato farms in Iowa? Hee hee Bye!"

*****

Earlier…

Luke and Lorelai had drunk their way through the mini bar, as well as the bottle of wine that came with their room service dinner, so they were both feeling more than a little tipsy when they decided to go out and check out Vegas. They went to their respective rooms to get dressed and realised neither had packed anything particularly nice to wear out at night.

"Rory! I'm having a wardrobe crisis!" Lorelai yelled, "What are you wearing?"  
  


Luke stood at the door of her room where Lorelai was still in the robe, the contents of her suitcase strewn all over the bed. "I'm Luke," he reminded her, "and there are no prizes for guessing what I'm wearing."  
  


Lorelai looked up at him and a mischievous smile formed on her face. She closed the door and quickly changed into jeans and a tank top, then, before he could register what was happening, ran next door to Luke's room, snatched a flannel shirt from his bag and pulled it on.

"Tada!" Lorelai struck a pose. 

"It's a good look. Really works for you."

Lorelai did up a couple of buttons in the middle of the shirt and rolled up the sleeves. 

"Now we make the perfect little couple," she announced proudly. "We can pretend we're potato farmers from Iowa!"  
  


"Do they farm potatoes in Iowa?" Luke asked.  
  


"I have no idea," she replied with a giggle.  
  


"What do potato farmers wear, anyway?" Luke pondered.

"Much the same as certain diner owners, I suspect. Cummon," Lorelai grabbed his arm and pulled him out the door, "time to party!"  
  


**

As Lorelai and Luke walked down the brightly lit street outside their hotel, she stretched her arm around his waist. Usually Luke recoiled when Lorelai made physical contact. She was an affectionate person, but he couldn't handle being that close to her knowing he didn't really have her, but tonight he reciprocated her move without hesitation. He reasoned that they'd both been drinking and she needed him to make sure she could walk straight. Of course that didn't explain why he pulled her even closer and she smiled up at him as they walked with their arms around each other…

Lorelai stopped walking suddenly. "I'm gonna get my tattoo," she said decisively, out of the blue and pulled Luke into a tattoo parlour.

"How's it going?" The guy at the counter asked.

Lorelai gave him a big smile. "Very well!"

"We're just gonna take a look," Luke pointed to the display of tattoos on the wall.

"Sure," the guy replied easily.

"So what are you getting?" Luke asked Lorelai as they looked at the samples.

"I'm not sure. Despite five years of insisting I'm ready for a tattoo, I've never give the subject matter any serious thought."

"Hearts, butterflies, angels and flowers seem popular," he commented.

Lorelai shook her head. "Nah, way too overdone. I want something uniquely me."

"Then choose something you like," Luke suggested.

"Have you ever seen a coffee tattoo? Or a burger? Or snow? And I don't think Rory would appreciate it if I got her face tattooed on my butt."

"Neither do I."

"I could go for one of those Chinese symbol things."

"It would probably be more meaningful if you could read Chinese," Luke pointed out.

"Very true. People probably ask for something that says 'peace angel' and get 'skanky ho.' I don't want every Chinese person on the street laughing their asses off at me."

"Should I try and stop you from getting a tattoo while you're drunk?" Luke wondered out loud.

"Well you're drunk too so you can't stop me! And I'm not so drunk that I'm going to get something huge and hideous." Lorelai said, putting on a very straight face.

"Okay, but no blaming me tomorrow."  
  


Lorelai continued along the row of tattoos. "I've got it! The Playboy bunny!"

"I can't let you do that."

Lorelai pouted but moved on, stopping when she was instantly attracted to a small, unusual tattoo of ivy wound into an L shape.

"This is it," she said excitedly, pointing to show Luke.

"I like it," he told her.

"I can get a new letter every year. By the time I'm 40 I'll have spelled my name so I won't have to write it on my hand when I'm old and senile!"

"Good plan."

"I thought so. Now we have to choose one for you too."

"What? Why?"

"You have to do it first so if you come out screaming I'll know to back out."

"I don't scream." Luke said.

"Cummon!" Lorelai encouraged, "be a big, tough man!"

"Are you insulting my manhood?" Luke asked.

Lorelai's eyes dropped below his belt and she laughed.

Luke blushed furiously. "I didn't mean…"

"They never do…" Lorelai continued to giggle.

"Okay," Luke agreed to the tattoo partly just to take her mind off his unintentionally dirty remark. "Something not too obtrusive. Like yours."

"You can the same one if you want," Lorelai said. "Like 'L' for Luke."

"Really? Doesn't that spoil the uniqueness?" he asked.  
  


"Nah, I can share," she assured him.

"Okay." 

"Same time?"  
  


"Yep."

They told the guy at the counter they were ready and he showed them to separate curtained off areas.

Lorelai squeezed Luke's hand tightly before going into hers. 

"You alright?" he asked.

"After fourteen hours of labour this'll be a walk in the park," Lorelai said bravely.

"Okay, see you back here soon."  
  


**

When Luke returned to the main room Lorelai was already there.

"Let me see, let me see!" she pounced on him.

"You want to see the bandage?" Luke asked.

"Okay, show me later, for now just tell me where you got it."

Luke pointed to his right bicep. "You chickened out, right?" he asked her.

"I did no such thing. It wasn't actually too bad." 

"Really?" Luke asked sceptically.

Lorelai slid her jeans down a couple of inches and showed him the bandage on her hip. "And you'll note I didn't scream once," she said proudly.

"I'm very impressed."

"Thank you. I just let the tattoo artist do all the talking. She was saying how it turns some people on and how me and my boyfriend are probably gonna go back to our hotel and have hot sex."

"Your boyfriend?"

"Yeah that would be you."

"Oh. So she really said it turns people on?"  
  


"Yeah. I said I'm not really into S & M. Needles just don't do it for me" 

"Some people have acupuncture to relax," Luke pointed out.

Lorelai scoffed, "Yeah well they also say that if you take Prozac then sneeze you can have an orgasm."

"Does it work?" The words escaped from Luke's mouth before he could contemplate that he was asking Lorelai about her orgasms.

"Sorry, forget I said that... It's not that I think you've tried it, just… This is completely weird… uh, let's just go now."

"Hey you realise this matching tattoo thing means we have to stay friends for life now," Lorelai told Luke as they walked down the street.

"I guess that's okay," Luke replied gruffly. 

"Yeah," Lorelai smiled at him, "I think I can handle that. Oooh, check it out!"

She grabbed Luke's arm and pulled him into a wedding chapel.

"I'm not drunk enough to get married," he said immediately.

"No silly, I have always wanted to see inside one of these!"

"Can I help you?" a woman asked.

"No thanks, we're just looking," Luke answered.

"Do you by any chance have Elvis conducting the ceremonies?" Lorelai asked hopefully. 

"We certainly do."

"Any chance of us sneaking in as guests?"  
  


"There's a ceremony in progress at the moment, I guess you can peak through the curtains."

"Thanks."

Lorelai stuck her head through the curtain and Luke popped his through on top of hers.

"Can you believe they let people get married like this?" Luke asked disapprovingly.

"I can see the attraction," Lorelai admitted, "It beats the Romanov's any day."

"It makes marriage seem like no big deal, like it's just some sort of joke."

"You didn't even go to Sookie's wedding, you hate stuff like that," Lorelai reminded him.

"I just think that if I ever did get married, I would want a real wedding. Not a big, fancy one, but something you could tell the kids about."

"Luke Danes, you big softy!" Lorelai prodded him in the ribs.

"Yeah, okay, don't spread it around. Come on, let's go."

"You know, I think the alcohol's wearing off," Lorelai said, rubbing her newly tattooed hip as they wandered down the street once more. "And now comes the pain. Hey, What time is it?" she asked Luke. 

"Just after eleven."  
  


"Well that's way too early to go back to the hotel," Lorelai said, "let's go find a really cool bar. How many drinks would I have to buy you before you'd dance with me?"  
  


"There are not enough drinks in the world," Luke replied.

"We'll see about that!"

**

It was two a.m. before they finally made it back to their hotel, with Lorelai having called Rory sometime during the night.

Lorelai pushed every single button in the elevator, making it stop at each floor on the way up. Luke thought this was hilarious. They were both leaning against the walls of the elevator laughing at each stop.

"Level Six, going up," Lorelai mimicked the electronic voice.

Luke laughed. "This won't be funny in the morning."

"Shh," Lorelai hissed when they finally reached their floor and stumbled out into the hallway, "people are trying to sleep." She did her best to give Luke a stern look.

Lorelai's back hit their door and Luke leant against her as he fumbled with the swipe card, trying to open the door.

"Stupid door," he muttered.

Lorelai slid down to the floor. "We'll have to sleep out here."

"We can't do that!" Luke finally managed to open the door and pulled her inside.

Lorelai was now resting against the inside of the door. "Luke, Oh Luuuke.... Lukey," she sang.

"What Lor-el-ai?" Luke pronounced her name carefully.

"Nothing, I just like saying your name. Luke Luke Luke." She let out a giggle that ended in a hiccup, then reached her arms around Luke's neck and leant against his chest. "I'm sleepy, let's go to bed."

Luke wrapped his arms around her waist to hold her up. "Okay, where's the bed?"

Lorelai laughed. "I don't remember!"

Luke lifted her up and Lorelai wrapped her legs around his waist so that he was carrying her (like the way you'd carry a three year old or a koala).

"Don't worry, we'll find it," he told her and began walking around the suite.

"Is it behind door number one?"  
  


Lorelai pushed the door open to reveal the bathroom. "Nope, try again!"

Behind the next door they discovered a bedroom. "I found it!" Luke cried.

"You win the big prize!" Lorelai cheered then wrinkled her nose. "Did I just make that sound really slutty?" she asked.

"Depends what the prize is."

"Uh, the bedroom?"

Luke carried her inside.

"Wow, Luke you're really strong, you know?" Lorelai had apparently just realised that she was not walking on her own. "And really sexy too. Have I ever told you that, hmm?" she laughed a little as Luke walked into the bed and they both collapsed onto it. "Oops! Maybe I should shut up now..."

Luke had landed on top of Lorelai and she planted a kiss on a random spot on his face. "I don't think I should do that either." Nevertheless, she gave him another randomly placed kiss.  
  


"Hmm," Luke's eyes were now closed.

Lorelai kissed him again. "Hey, you can't go to sleep on top of me!" She rolled Luke over so he was lying beside her.

"Goodnight, Luke," she murmured, kissing him a final time on the forehead.

He hugged her tight. "Mmm, Lorelai."

*****

TBC

Author's Notes:

I know that was mean, don't hate me!  Lioness-07863, you called it. 

I also know Scott Patterson already has a tattoo, but for the purposes of this story, Luke does not.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, especially those who review all the time. To all you other slackers, I'd love to hear from you, especially if you have something helpful to say, like if something's completely out of character.

To: 

- Angel Monroe, you're in trouble for mentioning _Chicago_ cos now I've got "Pop, Six, Squish, Uh-uh, Cicero, Lipschitz," in my head and it goes over and over and over again... it wouldn't be so bad if it would actually make it to the first verse!

- Jewls13, sorry, this is a family show (damn!)

- Everyone who mentioned Rory and Jess, they'll be back next chapter.

Hehe. My bro was watching the original _Star Wars_ while I was writing this and someone (his aunt?) kept calling "Luke, Luke," which is where Lorelai's weird outburst came from. So then I had to wander out to the living room calling "Luke, oh Luke" in a really weird accent… Okay now it seems like Luke and Lorelai aren't the only ones who've been drinking…

Now I'm off to watch the end of _Star Wars_. Until next time!


	18. Always do sober what you said you'd do d...

*****

ALWAYS DO SOBER WHAT YOU SAID YOU'D DO DRUNK

*****

*ring ring*

LORELAI: "Ugahwah"

RORY: "Mom?"

LORELAI: "Hi."

RORY: "I got your message from last night."

  
LORELAI: "What message?"  
  


RORY: "You left me a message on the answering machine. Great martinis, something about potato farmers. What's been happening?"

LORELAI: "I have no idea – AW JEEZ! Luke, wake up and get off me! – Sorry, Hon, I'm gonna have to call you back later."

RORY: "You slept with Luke!??!"

LORELAI: "Uh, looks like it."  
  


RORY: "DAMN!"

LORELAI: "But we're both still fully clothed."  
  


RORY: "YES!"

LORELAI: "I didn't know the thought of Luke and I together bothered you so much."

RORY: "It's not something I actually think about, but it'll be great if you two get together, it's just... Can't say."

LORELAI: "Say."

RORY: "Jess and I have this bet going..."  
  


LORELAI: "About Luke and I? Spill."  
  


RORY: "He bet that you would sleep together before the end of you trip."  
  


LORELAI (emits a strange sound that's a cross between a sigh and a strangled groan): "Hence the oddly placed questions."

RORY: "So are you on my team? Cos you know I think Jess might have hinted something to Luke, and that would just be really unfair…"  
  


LORELAI: "Huh? You know, Sweetie, Mommy's not feeling her best this morning, she needs time and coffee to help digest strange information like this."

RORY: "Just say you're on my team and I'll be happy."  
  


LORELAI: "Honey, I'm always on your team. I'll do anything to help you beat Jess."  
  


RORY: "Okay, great. I'll talk to you later."

*****

Lorelai dropped the phone and wrinkled up her nose in confusion. She prodded Luke's sleeping form and used some rather colourful language to wake him up.

"What?" he growled.

"You're charming in the mornings."  
  


"What are you doing in my room?"  
  


"This is my room."

"Then what am I doing in your room?"  
  


"Good question."

Luke rolled onto his back, blinked several times and tried again. "What happened?"  
  


"Last night we got in pretty late and we must have just crashed," Lorelai decided. 

"I have only a very sketchy recollection after the second bottle of wine," Luke admitted.

"Could have been worse," Lorelai said. They could both be naked.

Luke agreed. "We could have done something really stupid."

"Like gotten married."   
  


"Like had sex."

Lorelai sat up and her face towered over his. "Hey Luke? You have lipstick all over your face," she pointed out.

"Aw Jeez," he rubbed his face with his hands, succeeding only in smearing the lipstick so it looked like a splotchy sunburn.

Lorelai preferred to think Luke had gotten attacked by a monkey wearing lipstick, the way she'd seen in a movie once, than the more likely explanation of why her favourite shade was decorating his face. "What's the time?" she asked suddenly, so they could both avoid thinking about it.

"10:15." Luke replied.  
  


"And what time's check out?"  
  


"10."

"uhhhhh.... so shower and then breakfast?" Lorelai suggested. "Showers," she quickly corrected, emphasizing the plural. She rolled off the bed and headed for one of the bathrooms. Luke stood up slowly, clutched his head and dragged himself into the other bathroom. He obviously didn't have as much practice at this as she did. 

***

"Uh, Luke. Did you find anything strange when you had your shower?" Lorelai asked once they were both clean, dressed, packed and on their way down to breakfast.

"Like a tattoo?" 

"You too?"

"I got an 'L'"

"Same. We must have started spelling out our names or something. I like it, actually." Lorelai was practically beaming with pride now. "I finally got a tattoo!"

Luke had been worried that his was 'L' stood for Lorelai, and he'd gotten it as some sort of drunken declaration of undying love, but her explanation made much more sense. "I kinda like it too," he said.

"Coffee." Lorelai moaned, sniffing the air as they entered the restaurant. "Even _you_ must feel the need for coffee this morning," she said to Luke as they sat down.

"I just want to go back to sleep. The thought of getting in the car and driving for five hours is about the least appealing thing I can think of right now," he replied.

"Even less appealing than, say, being trapped in a tiny room, wearing nothing but chocolate body paint, with thousands of hungry ants streaming in…"

"You have a disturbed mind."  
  


"Come on, I was just getting started! I was about to stick Taylor in the room as well." A hangover had diminished none of Lorelai's verbal skills. "Let's play a game. Whoever misses first has to take the first driving shift," she said. "You go first, name the seven dwarfs."

"This isn't fair, my brain is hardly functioning," Luke said, taking a tentative sip of orange juice.

"If you don't even try you automatically end up driving first," Lorelai said. 

"Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy," Luke began and then looked at her questioningly for help.

"What you are in the mornings," Lorelai hinted.

"Sleepy."

"You said that already."

"Grumpy."

"Yes."

Luke thought some more. "Dopey."

"That's five!"

"Silly?" he tried.

Lorelai made a noise like a game show buzzer when the contestant gets the wrong answer. 

"I'll give you a clue, they don't end in 'y,'" she said.

"Bashful."

"And?? No more hints!"

"Doc." Luke said finally. "What a stupid, unrelated name."

"Damn, I can't believe you got that," Lorelai complained.

Luke took a moment to gloat and think of a question for her. "Name the seven deadly sins."

"Hah, I saw the movie, I can do this. Greed, sloth, envy." Lorelai began confidently but fizzled quickly. "You have to give me a hint, I did it for you."

"Okay, you're guilty of this one," Luke said.

"Lust!"

"Not what I was thinking," Luke said, watching her scoff down mouthfuls of pancakes and bacon between every sentence.

Lorelai figured it out. "Gluttony." She swallowed quickly then stuck her tongue out at him. "How many's that?"

"Five."

"Greed, sloth, lust, envy, gluttony," Lorelai repeated, "euh, mental blank!"

"Tick tock, tick tock." Luke intoned.

"Stop it!" Lorelai waved her hands at him, "I know, wrath!"

"That's six." Luke pulled the keys out of him pocket and slid them across the table towards her. 

"Noo, I can do this…." Lorelai ate another pancake and drank half a cup of coffee before admitting defeat. "Okay so maybe I can't do this, but it's only because I'm hungover." 

Luke smiled triumphantly as Lorelai took the keys and then waved the waiter over for more coffee.

*****

Meanwhile in Stars Hollow…

Rory wandered into the diner and Jess greeted her with a kiss.

"Mmm, morning," Rory said when they finally broke apart.

"Good morning." His arms remained around her waist. "So I had a really good time last night."  
  


"Me too."  
  


"We should do it again tonight. Here this time," he suggested.  
  


"Okay," Rory agreed.

"You don't mind doing that for me?" Jess asked.

"Nope, considering what you did it for me last night," she said.

"Great. So did I tell you how much I loved the new underwear?"

"You did."  
  


"Of course I still think it would look better on you than in the laundry." 

Jess hugged her closer as she laughed.

"But you take what you can get," he said philosophically. "So I wanted to thank you for allowing me to share your laundry night, because I know how significant it is that you and the laundry have that time alone together, and how much you enjoy sorting each item of clothing, taking great care to ensure they're matched to those other pieces with whom they'll best get along."   
  


Rory hit him playfully on the shoulder to stop the speech. "You're an idiot."

"You love me for it," Jess quipped.  
  


"I do."  
  


"Love me?" he asked more seriously.

Rory pulled out of his embrace. "I'm sorry, it's too strong, too soon."  
  


Jess pulled her closer again. "I understand."  
  


"I love you for that too." Rory disentangled herself once more to sit at the counter.  
  


"So have you spoken to Lorelai lately?" Jess asked casually as he poured her a cup of coffee.

Rory nodded. "This morning. I think she and Luke had an interesting night."

Jess' ears pricked up. "In what sense?"  
  


"In the sense of getting drunk and waking up in the same bed."

"Does that mean I win?" he asked hopefully.

Rory shook her head. "She says they just fell asleep."

Jess looked at her suspiciously. "Really."

"Cross my heart." 

"Darn. I know you're not lying. Still, I think it's looking pretty good for me," Jess gloated, "I plan to call Luke and remind him that you should always do sober what you said you'd do drunk."  
  


"You're going to quote Hemmingway to Luke?"

"I'm going to win the bet! I was thinking we could change the terms a little, make things more interesting."  
  


"Okay," Rory said, unsure of whether to be more confident or more nervous after her conversation with Lorelai that morning. "What did you have in mind?"

Jess leant in close and whispered in her ear. 

Rory blushed as she agreed to the deal. Lorelai better not let her down.

*****

TBC

AN: It's audience participation time! 

I was working on the next chapter and it prompted a question. What kind of music does everyone think Luke likes? Cos, as Jewls pointed out to me, Rory and Lorelai are kinda music snobs (which would make me a music whore cos I listen to pretty much anything) and we know about Lane and Jess' taste in music, but what do you think Luke's into? I'm also open to suggestions as to what the terms of Rory and Jess' bet should be. The next chapter will be ready when I have answers  *hint hint* hit the review button (blackmail is such an ugly word…) 


	19. Too much of a good thing can be wonderfu...

AN: Wow, now I know the cheap way to get reviews – ask a question. I didn't mean it like that. Anyway, I stayed with my dad over Easter and raided his music collection for inspiration (which prompted a scary dad/luke parallel) and found a lot of stuff people mentioned they thought Luke would be into (classic rock, etc.) plus some stuff no one should ever own (Phil Collins Greatest Hits) In the end there were just too many choices and I didn't end up making the music thing a big part cos I realised this was the last chapter and there was too much else to wrap up.

But the Luke music guessing game was fun, thanks for playing. I want to write a huge authors note in response to all the suggestions, but I think you'd rather read the story, so, just quickly:

To everyone who mentioned Jimmy Buffet – Thanks, I had forgotten about that (probably cos I had no idea who he was, thus the whole exchange went right over my head).

And to Lilianna28 – Lorelai stole your 1978 line. Sorry, I tried to stop her, but she will not be denied… Hope you don't mind.

* * * * *

TOO MUCH OF A GOOD THING CAN BE WONDERFUL

* * * * *

*ring ring*

RORY: "Hello?"  
  


LORELAI: "Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My God!"

RORY: "Mom? Make a sentence."

LORELAI: "Oh My God, I'm in love with Luke!"

RORY: "Oh, is that all?"

LORELAI: "What do you mean is that all? This is huge!"

RORY: "Everyone's known for ages."

LORELAI: "Well why didn't someone tell me?"

RORY: "Grandma, Sookie, Miss Patty, Babette, the guy who works at the stationery store..."

LORELAI: "Okay, I get the picture."

RORY: "Most people lucked out of the betting pool years ago though."

LORELAI: "They were taking bets?"

RORY: "No, not really, but only because Miss Patty couldn't get a permit from Taylor. Everyone could see there was something between you and Luke. What made you see it, by the way?"  
  


LORELAI: "I'm not exactly sure. I think he's been growing on me throughout the trip."  
  


RORY: "Like mould?"  
  


LORELAI: "Like really great fingernails. I don't know what changed. I mean, this trip has brought us closer together, and we've been having these moments, but today I just looked at him and it was there!"

RORY: "That's… wow, mom."

LORELAI: "But now I don't know what to do! I already flirt, and I can't just come out and tell him."  
  


RORY: "I say be direct and go for it. But you can't sleep with him before you get back or else I'll loose my bet with Jess. Especially now he changed the terms on me."

LORELAI: "So what happens if you lose?"

RORY: "I have to take him underwear shopping with me next time I go."

LORELAI: "Could have been worse, he could have insisted on a fashion parade."  
  


RORY: "In his dreams would I have agreed to that."

LORELAI: "Hey, does Jess make you happy?"

RORY: "Yeah. He does."  
  


LORELAI: "I can see your big, goofy grin from here!"

RORY: "You can not!"

LORELAI: "Can so! Anyway, I'm happy for you and happy for me, I think. And I'm going to try the direct approach… When the moment's right."

RORY: "The moment had better be today."

LORELAI: "Fine, I'll make it today. Oh God, I have no idea how!" 

RORY: "Relax. It's you and Luke, it'll be great."

LORELAI: "Thanks for the pep talk, Hon, but I better go now and get back to Luke. Spending in excess of 10 minutes in the bathroom is never attractive."

RORY: "Okay, good luck!"

* * * * *

Earlier…

Lorelai, now fully recovered from the night before, was driving as they crossed the border into California. 

Luke was flipping through a brochure that she had picked up in the hotel lobby in Vegas. "Did you know California has issued 6 drivers licenses to people with the name 'Jesus Christ'?"

"I love crazy people," Lorelai declared happily and began to sing; "California Dreams, just let me stay here in the sun..."

"Lorelai," Luke warned, "I thought we'd come to an agreement about the singing."

Lorelai changed songs; "She's Miss California, hottest thing in West LA..."

"Stop it!"

"Da da da East Coast girls da something something, make me feel alright, dada da Wish they all could be Californian Girls," Lorelai continued to hum, switching songs mid-tune to; "…If you want these kinda dreams it's Californication… We need mood music," she declared. "Look in the glove box and grab the CD labelled 'Rory mix number 3.'"

Luke followed her instructions, sliding the disc into the player.

_"This is the story about a circle of women; LA women; On an LA mission. This is the glory; Gonna get their hooks in; Gonna drag you way down, Yeah, you wanna go home soon?"_

Luke winced as Lorelai turned up the volume.

"Jess plays this to go to sleep," he commented, recognizing the song. 

"Not a fan, huh?" she shouted over the noise. 

Luke turned the music down. "Not exactly."

"Well do you have any requests then?"

"No."

"You must like some kind of music," Lorelai prodded. "But let me guess, in the world of Luke, no good music has been made since 1978."

"The 80's was a decade best forgotten."

"Hey! That was my music decade!" Lorelai protested.

"Well it sucked," he said bluntly.

Lorelai decided to avoid the heated music debate because, hey, a lot of crap **_did _**come out of the 80s. "Choose something to listen to or I'll keep singing," she threatened.

"Okay, I have a tape in my bag." Luke leant over to the back seat to retrieve it. Lorelai subtly adjust the rear view mirror so she could check out his butt.

"Wow, it's a tape," she snickered once he sat back down, "haven't seen one of those in a while."

"Shut up." Luke slid the tape into the deck and _Hotel California_ began playing.

Lorelai approved. The sound was positively mellow compared to The Distillers. 

"I love this song. I so want to go to that hotel!"

Luke laughed at her, but it was an affectionate laugh. 

Lorelai smiled and snuck a look at him. He was humming. It was almost inaudible, but she could tell. Luke was humming. Lorelai's smile turned into a fully-fledged grin.

Luke must have noticed because he turned his head towards her and smiled back sheepishly. Lorelai turned back to the road ahead, but could see him still watching her out of the corner of her eye and she smiled some more. What was with the smiles today?

And then it hit her. This was happiness. Genuine, light-hearted, floating-on-clouds, violin-playing goat, happiness. She's found it in the middle of Nowhere, California with Luke. Luke made her happy.

Woah. Lorelai swerved suddenly and pulled into a gas station.

"Jeez, Lorelai, what are you doing?" Luke complained.

"Need to use the bathroom, back in a sec!" She grabbed her bag and ran to the restrooms.

"Come on, Rory, pick up, pick up," Lorelai tapped her foot impatiently as she listened to the phone ring.

"Hello?"  
  


"Oh My God, Oh My God, Oh My God!"

* * * 

"You okay?" Luke asked when Lorelai returned to the car.

"Sure, I'm fine."  
  


"Okay, well do you want me to drive?"

"Sure, thanks."  
  


Luke refolded the map he'd been looking at. "We're nearly there. Can you believe we've made it across the entire country? I've never even thought about doing anything like this before. I thought it was just something you read about…" 

And for once _he was talkative and _she_ was quiet, deep in thought, waiting for a moment._

* * *

It was late afternoon when they hit the Pacific Ocean. This was the end of the road and Lorelai still hadn't found her moment. 

Luke parked by a deserted beach just outside Los Angeles and Lorelai jumped out of the car, kicked off her shoes and dug her feet into the soft sand, still warm from the sunny day. She looked over over the water and breathed in the salty air. Awesome.

When Luke joined her on the beach Lorelai spontaneously flung her arms around his neck for a big, excited hug. To her surprise, he returned the hug with enthusiasm, lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. 

They then collapsed together onto the sand and sat watching the sun set over the Pacific Ocean.

Lorelai gave a small, contented sigh.

"This is really beautiful," Luke said, looking sideways at her. "Thanks for dragging me along."

"Are you admitting that I was right? That you had a good time?" Lorelai gloated.

"Shh, don't spoil the moment," Luke placed a finger to her lips. His touch silenced Lorelai, who moved a little closer and rested her head on his shoulder as they stared back across the dark water to the pink and orange sky.

They sat in quiet contemplation for a couple more minutes and Lorelai was working up the courage to make her move when Luke spoke up. 

"Well, we've reached our final destination in one piece. You know what happens after the happy ending?"

"What?" she asked hopefully, subtly moistening her lips in anticipation.

"We have to turn around and drive all the way back again," he said.

"Oh. Right." Disappointed, Lorelai dropped her head away. Then an idea hit her and she stood up. "There is one more thing we have to do first." 

"What?" Luke asked, standing up with her.

"Skinny dipping. It's time for your initiation," Lorelai began stripping off her clothes. When she was down to her underwear she ran into the ocean.

"No way," Luke called after her.

"Come on," Lorelai yelled back, "it's getting dark and there's no one around." Once in the water she pealed off her underwear and threw it back on to the beach. 

"You're crazy!" Luke yelled.

"Chicken," Lorelai shouted to him before diving under a wave.

When she resurfaced he was by her side.

"Am not."

"Is this Lucas Danes unleashing his wild side?"

"No, I just have to make sure you don't drown."

Lorelai splashed him. He splashed her back then disappeared behind a wave, swimming out further, past the breaking point.

She followed him. "Marco?"  
  


"Polo," he replied. 

Lorelai dog paddled over to Luke and held on to his shoulder. "I can't touch the bottom," she explained.

Lorelai gently used her finger to trace the outline of his tattoo. That hand then joined her other for a better grip on his shoulder and her body brushed closer to his.  

Luke tried his hardest to ignore her breast grazing against his arm.

"Okay, I give up," Lorelai declared.

"You give what up?" he asked.  
  


"I've practically thrown my naked body at you twice now," she explained. "I'm pretty sure you're not gay, so either you're an incredible gentleman or you don't find me attractive at all."

Once Luke recovered from what he was sure was a mild heart attack, he couldn't help but smile. "I definitely find you attractive."

"Then what does a girl have to do to get a kiss around here?" There. The direct approach.  
  


Lorelai slowly shifted position, sliding around to face him. Luke's arms glided around her waist, holding her very lightly as her arms curled around his neck.

Their faces loitered inches apart, eyes locked on each other's lips, until lips finally met, tentatively at first.

All apprehension disappeared as the kiss deepened. Lorelai let out a small moan and Luke tightened his grip on her.

Finally.

They remained in the same position after coming up for air, just silently holding each other, rising and falling with the movement of the ocean.

Oh god, Lorelai thought. Their very own _From Here to Eternity _moment. She could almost hear the climatic love song in the background. The thought made her giggle, and the giggle, for some reason, led to the insane temptation to yell out "shark!" which made her laugh even more.

"What are you laughing at?" Luke asked her.

Why _was_ she laughing? Lorelai wondered. She was making out with a gorgeous guy, naked, in the middle of the ocean, and she was laughing. Way to give him the wrong idea. But she knew why.

"Because I'm happy," she told him.   
  


"Me too," he replied, softly kissing her lower lip. 

"Really? Cos I'm not sure what happiness would look like on you," she continued.

"It looks a bit like you." 

"Wow, have you been practicing that delivery?" she asked lightly.

"Because I anticipated this exact situation?" he countered.

"You've fantasized," she teased. 

"Well, you know, you may have changed my view on vacations," he told her.

"Really? Cos you know we could keep driving, maybe down to Mexico…"

"No."

"But you just said-"  
  


"No," Luke repeated firmly.

Lorelai gave him a brief kiss. "Please?"

"Still no."

She kissed him again. This time for longer, slipping her tongue into his mouth. "Pretty please?"

"Well… No."

They both smiled.

"I love this."

He gave her a questioning look.

"Us," she explained. "I love us. I love the way it makes me feel."

"So do I. But can we stop talking now?"

"But it's what we do," Lorelai reminded him coyly.

"Not anymore."

He kissed her lips hungrily and she responded just as eagerly. This time they didn't stop for a very long time. They remained wrapped in each others arms as the final rays of sunlight disappeared over the horizon. 

And they floated....

* * * * *

THE END... Almost

Okay, I have no idea where that last scene came from, it kinda took a life of it's own. 

Writing this was weird cos where I live the sun _rises_ over the Pacific Ocean… Unless, you go across to an _island_ for a holiday, get up at 5 am and stumble out to the beach to watch the sun rise. Twenty minutes later you're wondering how it got so light without the sun appearing over the water. Then you turn around. Oops. Okay, that was my stupid anecdote for the day. Tomorrow you can hear all about how I had this chapter all typed up on a floppy disk and then stuck the disk in the back pocket of my jeans and forgot it was there... Hey, I'm *blonde* I'm excused. 


	20. Epilogue

* * * * *

EPILOGUE: DON'T WORRY, IT'S ONLY KINKY THE FIRST TIME

* * * * *

*ring ring*

LORELAI: "Hello?"

RORY: "Hi Mom. Did you find your moment?"  
  


LORELAI: "Uh, now's not really a good time, honey, Luke and I are kind of in the middle of something."

RORY: "If it's lurid sex, I don't want to know."

LORELAI: "Okay, bye."

RORY: "What?!?!"

LORELAI: "Just kidding."

RORY: "What are you doing then?"

LORELAI: "Trying to convince the good people of the LAPD not to arrest us."

RORY: "Arrest you? For what?"

LORELAI: "Indecent exposure."

RORY: "Oh boy. Are you serious? (beat) Does this mean I lose my bet?"

LORELAI: "No, you're safe. Would you like to thank Officer Lopez yourself, or should I do it for you?"  
  


RORY: "MOM!"

LORELAI: "Don't worry, he's got a sense of humor."

RORY: "Ugh, you are irrepressible!"

LORELAI: "I know I'm irresistible."

RORY: "I said irrepressible."

LORELAI: "Same diff."

RORY: "Diff of Titanic proportions."

LORELAI: "Rory, you love me, right?"

RORY: "Yes, but don't try calling me from jail, I'm not going to bail you out!"

LORELAI: "Rory..."

RORY: "Hanging up now."

LORELAI: "Rory…"

  
* * * * * 

THE END... Really.

Sorry I just had to add that, everybody stop groaning now. I couldn't resist, cos this is just the sort of thing my mum would do to me. 

That's it! Finally! *grin* I'm so proud! So what did y'all think? Thanks for coming along for the ride!


End file.
